Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Home

I'll be flying home in exactly one month. Finally. I haven't been home since July 2005. I haven't held my mom in my arms for one year and a half. I haven't hugged my brother for an eternity. I can't wait to party with my friends, walk down familiar streets, hear french everywhere, go for a drink with my girlfriends and confide each other our secrets into the wee hours of the morning.

Berlin has developped into home, but well.... just home away from home. I have friends here, I have a social life, a job, my studies, my bf, but... I dunno, I guess home just always stays home, you know what I mean?

The worst thing is, I know I'll probably miss Berlin while I'm over there... AH, the story of my life: always torn between two, always missing one part, always feeling bad for making some side sad/angry. AM I the only one seeing a pattern here?

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

blog, interrupted

real life got in the way a bit.. I will post in the near future about myself, but for now I have a very interesting post everyone should read in the context of the voting going on right now in the US. If you have time, the whole blog is interesting regarding many other subjects, but at least read the "On military bulletins" post.

Phreadom

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Transnistria / Tiraspol

So, we left Odessa by bus one morning. all of the other travellers were ukrainian, russian or moldovan. We, being the only two westerners, were systematically asked to get off the bus and answer questions at each check point. At the ukrainian border, none of the officials spoke english, and we were given a declaration form to fill out. We had to choose between the form written in russian or in ukrainian (umm.. let me think!) So any ways, we kind of comunicated with the border patrol people with hands and feet (them: dreenk? us: no, no drink, no alcohol. them: smoke? us: no cigarettes!. them: droogs? us: nope, no drugs. ) So anyways, the people at the border were pretty nice and let us go without having to fill out the form written in russian. Then we crossed a little dirt bridge with tons of wild dogs on the sides, and arrived to the Transnistrian "border". The old moldovan border facilities are still intact, and the transnistrians use it. (or have occupied it??). Anyways, we had met a transnistrian girl in the night train between Cracow and Odessa, and she said that Transnistria wasn't that bad, and that all was great there, not like described in the wikitravel website. (yeah, right)

Anyways, as we approach the border, a military guy boards the bus and just tells us two to get off the bus. We follow him to a small building outside the main building. He just goes in the small room with a wooden desk, a wooden counter and nothing more. He speaks in russian to two other guards (soldiers?) and they open a drawer with bills of money in it and then close it. Then, the first soldier asks us to leave the room, comes out, locks the door and starts speaking with a friend of his who drives by, Meanwhile our bus with all of its passengers and driver are waiting for us.

He stops talking with his friend, brings us back into the small building and asks us what we want in Transnistria. As I say "tourism", he starts to laugh. I show him our Lonely Palnet Romania + Moldova, and he brings us to the main building of the customs/border office. Meanwhile, all the other passengers are waiting in line with their luggage in front of a little wooden desk with another customs officer and a huge super modern scanning machine which you normally have in airports. The guy that has our passports disappears in the building so we just get in line with our backpacks. After a few minutes, he comes back out and signals us to come to the front of the line. there, the other guy tells us to put down our backpacks and wait. he then processes a couple of other passengers, and then just randomly decides to take care of us. the scanning machine scans our backpacks and the employee working there looks sceptically at our stuff. then, at the end of a corridor, a man is waiting for us. There is a closed office. We are called in with our luggage. The man who seems to be in charge here tells me in german: "woman, stay outside". I start to panic, thinking he wants to interview us separately but after a few minutes have gone by I realize he is dealing with the bf for both of us. During this conversation he basically told the boyfriend we could either bribe him with 20 american dollars or he would make our trip (entry) hell. So we bribed the guy to let us in. We still don't get our passports back!

we have to line up again with the second guy, and he tells us we have to buy a "visa" (note that this isn't a real country, so there are no embassies and no place where we could have actually bought the "visas" in advance, as we did with our moldovan one). Note: according to the official "Website" (read: propaganda), you don't need a visa to enter the "country". (yeah right! try to explain that to the military mean looking guys! So anyways, he wants 7 hrivnas each for the visa ( about 1 american dollar) but when we say we only have american money (bad calculation and stupid move on our part), he decided finally that it was actually 7 DOLLARS per person. We negotiated it to 7 dollars for both, if I remember right (since when do you negotiate the price of a visa? LOL), got the hand written piece of paper (we don't have a clue what's written on it!), and were on our way. The bus was late on the schedule, partly because of the wait at the border crossing, partly because the driver took a one hour break to drink beer in a bar, just leaving us there (note: ukrainian people seemed to find it normal).

We finally arrive in Tiraspol, as soon as we enter the city it looks like a living museum of the soviet union(to quote either the lonely planet or wikitravel, I'm not sure). There are a couple of military trucks driving around and buildings look like this:



So , we show up at our hotel "Drushba":



At the reception, a really sweet little russian only speaking grandma explains to us that we need to "register" at the police before we can sign in, but looking at my backpack, suggests I leave it at the reception as starts rubbing my back.

We set off to the adress written in our guide book. There are different police offices, and a policeman shows us the next building. We go in, wait 15 minutes in line and finally when we come up, the women behind the window just kind of ignore us. "Hello?" Nothing. aparently they're writing really important papers. They finally tell us to go to another office. In this office, after taking our passports, they finally tell us we have to go to another office on another street, and to hurry because it closes at 4:30 Pm. I ask if it is far, or if they can point it to us on a map but apparently no one in the office knows where this other government/police office actually is. I felt like I was in "The twelve tasks of Asterix". After the long bus ride and stress at the border, I just want to get a hotel room, any room, and quiet down.

so we set off in the city. there are once again many wild dogs roaming the streets. We find in a sort of back yard the adress we have written on a torn piece of paper. We ring a bell. A voice comes out in russian, we just say "passport" and the voice hangs up. Okay. We try to walk aournd the building, a door is open, but looks like a back door to a shop. we walk in , a man says something in russian, and we show our passports. Finally, he brings us to the right room, although I think he wasn't an employee.

We get to a counter, and a little square piece of the window opens. A woman asks something in russian. we show our passports and she rolls her eyes, great. it's 4:10 PM. she holds up a pre-printed piece of paper written: "Pay 4 roubles and 70 kopeks for registration". and slams her little window shut. Uh, ok. We get the money and knock once more at her window. Exasperated, she opens again and shows us the "Kacca" (cash register?) nearby, gives us 2 pieces of paper and shuts the door again. great. we show up at the "kacca", pay the money (which turns out to more than 5 roubles per person) and ask the girl then what we have to do " fill out passport info". Great, once again, papers only in russian. The girl at the Kacca fills them out for us, that was really nice of her. Except I think she wrote down as my last name "Canadian / Canadienne" and entered as my country of residence "france" (my first name is francoise), but at this point, I don't give a shit, I just want to get the stamp and get back to the hotel. So we have to get back in line for the first counter with the exasperated woman. She asks for our passports, visas (we give 2 copies: original and carbon-copy), fills out different papers, and then holds up a paper that say "What numbers leave to Tiraspol?". Okay, now I feel like I am in a game quiz and am starting to lose my patience. We finally get that she wants to know til what date we are going to be staying, and she gives us a stamped paper and our passport and slams shut the little window. Shit. She didn't give us back our visas, and we need them to leave Transnistria. It's 4:25. After trying to explain to her that she has kept both of our copies, and that we need at least one with our passport, we get them and get to go back to the hotel. We are exhausted and I feel the tears rising in my eyes, I am ready to fall on the sidewalk from exhaustion and stress.

We finally get to our room, that looks like this:


Our bathroom WAS the shower, and pretty disgusting, but at this point I didn't give a damn about it, also that there was just a couple of squares of ukrainian toilet paper available:


We ended up having a short but nice evening and visited a couple of things:

church:


tank monument made to remember the civil war:


and the palace of the republic, which wouldn't be complete without the statue of Lenin in front of it:


The next morning we were off to Chisinau, the capital of real country Moldova, even though Transnistria has cut off all train connections. stay tuned!

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Odessa

sorry for the delay, it seems as though the minute I got back from vacation work just started pouring in!

so, the night train to Odessa was a bit disappointing (we booked the most luxurious compartment we could get)

picture this: it's 33 degrees, the windows are nailed shut and smells like a mixture between horses and salami.



just when I thought things can't get worse, I feel my bladder screaming out - I have to use the washroom. yep. that is a hole in the floor. you see the tracks under you. It smells even worse than in the rest of the train.



and there's no toilet paper. As you might guess, it didn't take me very long to master the technique of peeing standing up in a moving train.

After 15 or 16 hours we arrived in Odessa



There were tons of old babushkas offering rooms or houses to rent in russian, but they were outside of town and we had no car, so we set off through the city to try and find a cheap hotel. and we did! Only first, we had to decipher the names of the streets - our travel guide, being written in english, had all street names in normal latin alphabet. Now after a smelly night dreaming of salami eating horses, try understanding if this:



means "preobrazhenskaya street" or not. yeah, I know.

so anyways, we found this hotel:


"Hotel Passage"

We had a very big room with bathroom and 4 meter high ceiling for about 20 euros a night, smack in downtown and close to the harbour. There was no hot water in the hotel, but that is relatively normal in Ukraine.

We went shopping in the beautiful shopping center next to the hotel:



they also had an air conditioned, modern one closeby, but this one just had more style.

We visited the Potemkin stairs, for those of you that have seen "Battleship Potemkin", it was filmed here.



This was also fun:


yeah, that's a real live snake.

Okay, now on to the more serious things:


The beer was good and cost about 60 cents for half a litre glass. The waitress didn't speak english and didn't understand that we wanted to pay, and just kept bringing out two more... oh well.

And, there's also something for the single traveller in Odessa:


after we took a bus to Transnistria. It is a part of Moldova that declared itself independant and had a civil war 10 years ago. There were warnings to travellers on the canadian governments website to steer clear of it, but how often do you get to set foot in an international no man's land? So we went. Stay tuned.

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Leaving Berlin + Cracow

We left Berlin on Wednesday night. Normally when you travel you wake up in the morning and leave, but we were taking a night train to Cracow. In our compartment there were 6 "beds" - one was free, so there was place for our stuff, and the three other people were getting off in Breslau at 5 am. The train stopped at many smaller stations and was late, and there was so much noise that we didn't get much sleep. Besides, the "beds" were at an angle and after about 2 hours of lying down I started having a back ache. This is what I looked like in the morning





















We arrived at the Krakow Glowny station before noon and tried to find a bus ticket and info for trains going to Ukraine, but no one spoke English, so we took a taxi and went to the youth hostel. It was a bit outside of the center, but ok and clean. We even had a private room. It was on the small side, but for what we were paying, I didn't care.
























Off we were to explore Cracow. The tram took us from our hostel to downtown






















We checked out the Glowny Rynek (main square). It was really beautiful, in a pedestrian zone with many nice restaurants, but also more expensive than the rest of the town.


We also visited Wawel castle






















Which is on a hill and you get from there a great view from Cracow. The interior courts are really nice





















We also visited the cathedral, where many of poland's kings are burried. We climbed up to the tower to see the huge bells


















the passage way up the tower was no easy task, since I have a fear of hights, but I managed! And by the way, if you are obese, this tower isn't for you!


















In front of the Cathedral on Wawel hill, there are bones hung just over the entrance






















The nuns say these are the bones of the dead dragon that used to live on Wawel hill, and legend has it that as long as these bones stay hanging above the entrance, the cathedral will always stay standing. Archeologists have analysed them and apparently they are rhinoceros, mammoth and whale bones.

through the downtown streets you can take these mini trolley buses to tour the area - with a name like this one, it's pretty promising: KRAK TOURS - lol

















Cracow streets:















We spent two nights in Cracow, and went out in the jewish neighbourhood one night, which was really cool. Around one little square, they have tons of bars and cool places. We had a beer (okok, more than one...) at Opium, Alchemie and Couleurs. I personally preferred Alchemie, because of the wooden tables and candle-lit atmosphere. For those of you who have been in New Orleans before Katrina, this bar resembled the Blacksmith's Shop in the french quarter.

Soon after it was time to go. We didn't have many days in each town, and were on a tight schedule. We managed to buy tickets for a night train to Odessa, Ukraine.

Krakow's train station...

















a polish train...















... and the boyfriend waiting with our backpacks for the train to arrive...







Next post - Ukraine!

I'm back!

I am back in Berlin and over the next posts will show you pictures and tell you more about the trip!

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Chisinau, Moldova

***Edit: this should have been posted Wednesday, but internet cafes here are not very efficient, apparently***

I am in Moldova!!

We have hot water in our hotel room!!! (which was not the case in Ukraine) and boy am I happy to be able to read stuff. Crossing over Transdnistria was also an adventure (it's an\ part of Moldova which declared independancy ten years ago, they had a civil war and now it's a no-man's land. we spent a night there, and the borders were really something. I thought I was going to have a heart attack)

But I made it! There are so many beautiful things to see, I can't wait to post pictures for you guys and tell everything in detail about the trip.

John, in Odecca they don't have postcards, so I bought you a normal card instead. it's cheesy and written in Ukrainian, actually I have no idea what's written on it, but I hope it'll do all the same.

We'll be checking out the city tonight and the day after tomorrow we're leaving for the roumanian mountains, where we'll travel from village to village. I hope to get to visit a monastery and go hiking!!

I'll post as soon as I get internet access!!

Chisinau, Moldova

I am in Moldova!!

We have hot water in our hotel room!!! (which was not the case in Ukraine) and boy am I happy to be able to read stuff. Crossing over Transdnistria was also an adventure (it's an\ part of Moldova which declared independancy ten years ago, they had a civil war and now it's a no-man's land. we spent a night there, and the borders were really something. I thought I was going to have a heart attack)

But I made it! There are so many beautiful things to see, I can't wait to post pictures for you guys and tell everything in detail about the trip.

John, in Odecca they don't have postcards, so I bought you a normal card instead. it's cheesy and written in Ukrainian, actually I have no idea what's written on it, but I hope it'll do all the same.

We'll be checking out the city tonight and the day after tomorrow we're leaving for the roumanian mountains, where we'll travel from village to village. I hope to get to visit a monastery and go hiking!!

I'll post as soon as I get internet access!!

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Odessa, Ukraine

Wow. We left Cracow yesterday afternoon and took the 4 hour train to Przemlz (or something like that), a little town close to the border between poland and ukraine. we had dinner there ( really cute and cheap little city) and after we took the train around 19h21, leaving for Odessa. We had to go through the polish customs before we got on the train. If I thought the polish night train was bad, boy was I wrong! Picture a really old train from the black and white movies. the walls are made of plywood, there's a carpet on the floor that's probably older than my grandmother, and it smells like an odd mixture of salami and a horse stable. the controller of the train, a woman, comes running down after us through the hallway, yelling, and we try to tell her that our bunk numbers are 52 and 56, and that there are no such numbers, but she just answers something in ukrainian and stuffs us into the next compartment, pointing to the two bunks on the right side. The two other ukrainian guys who were already in there get there stuff and leave the compartment ( apparently the controller thought it would be best to fill 1 compartment than to let us have 1 for us alone. Anyways, at this point I look around in our "room" for the night... the "beds" look like old school bus seats with leather on it, i smells really weird, it's unbelievably hot, and... the windows are screwed shut!!! Apparently this is custom in Ukraine. I must admit I started crying and the bf, who has much experience in travelling, comforted me and laughed a bit...The Ukrainian customs were also funny, not speaking a word of english, but we managed...

Well, my first impression was a bad one, but I must say I was wrong. We had the compartment to ourselves the whole night, got an extra matress to put on the school bus seats and it was pretty cool during the night. On top of that, our neighbours were 3 women travelling with children, and they really rocked! We hadn"t even left the station that they had already cracked open a beer, were laughing and talking in the hallway. Long story short, We eventually realised that one of them spoke a little english, and another quite good german. They shared their food with us, offered us a drink and we talked together till pretty late. We also then met a moldovan girl (Moldova is where we're headed after Odessa) and it was cool to be able to chat with her.

The night was great, I slept really well, I actually used one extra mattress as a cover cause I was too lazy to fishout my sleeping bag. Anyways, we arrived on time in Odessa. At the station we were swarmed with people looking to rent their rooms, appartments or houses on the beach side, but we were looking for something central. we walked through half of downtown looking for a cheap hotel, not understanding the writing (they use cyrilic alphabet here, so you have absolutely no idea how to pronounce stuff)anyways, we finally found a pretty cheap one that used to be the greatest hotel of odessa. It really does look like a Mansion in decrepitude, but whatever, it's like first class for dingy budget hotels :)

Tomorrow we'll try to find train tickts to get to Moldova, and check out more of the city. I'm exhausted and after the almost 24 hour train ride, I still feel like I'm on a train when I'm sitting...


PS note to self: never EVER complain again abour certain air companies having bad service or flights being uncomfortable

Friday, August 18, 2006

Cracow

Here I am in the basement of a youth hostel in Cracow. The city and castle here are beautiful, but the night train here was quite an adventure. we were 5 in our "cabin", and the 3 others were getting off at Breslau around 5am, so there was much commotion and we didnt get too much sleep. also, the train stopped in everz imaginable nook and cranny of poland, and the toilets were DISGUSTING. oh well, i guess I have to get used to that cause its probablz not the worst I will have seen on the whole trip.

arrived in Cracow, we had to buy a bus ticket and wanted to get info for a train to ukraine, but noone spoke english... that was funy. We've got a double room here in the youth hostel for 98 slotys a night, which is not so bad, considering the shared bathrooms are relatively clean and our room is ok.

we're leaving tomorrow around 13h35 and arriving sunday around 12h40 in odessa (yep, 22 hour train - yay)

I hope we'll have the luck of sharing the compartment with young people or at least someone who speaks english.. either way, it ll be fun

weather forecast says itll be 33 degrees in odessa on sunday, and I will be at the beach on the coast of the black sea..

Ill try to post if I find internet somewhere

well, im off to have pierogis and polish beers in Kazimierz!

cheers

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

School's out for Summer...

School's out for ever... I wish!!

leaving tonight for Cracow and will be travelling through East Europe for minimum 2 weeks...

my backpack is almost as big as me..

oh well

Saturday, July 22, 2006

I WANT A KITTEN!!!







Because of the move to Germany, I had to give up my cat.

I miss my cat. This one is Sooooooooooooo cute, I would just cuddle him for ever and ever.

and ever.

Vacation!

Woo hoo, no classes until October 17th!!!

I still have to work, but...

I now declare summer officially opened in Berlin

cheers! *takes sip of really good german beer*

Friday, July 21, 2006

Fitz

One of my two last names starts with "Fitz" (Irish half of the family).

Why does my little brother let all his friends call him Fitz? Does it really sound cool?

States visited



create your own personalized map of the USA
or check out ourCalifornia travel guide


okok, maybe not as good as John's, but not bad either for a Canadian, right?

canadian provinces visited



create your own personalized map of Canada
or check out ourVancouver travel guide

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Countries I have visited



create your own visited country map

at the end of the summer there should be more!!!

Monday, July 17, 2006

one week...

and I'll be done with my semester!! I just finished a take home exam, have 2 more to go on friday and saturday morning and then I'm done until mid october! woo-hoo!!

By the way, What is the deal with exams on a saturday morning at 9 am???? I really don't get it, I mean would it kill them to put it from 12 to 3pm instead? oh well. I guess I'll just have to get my lazy ass out of bed earlier...

I feel like I've been PMSing for three weeks now... wonder what's up with that!

In August we're travelling to East Europe. Romania, Hungary, Ukraine, Moldova... we'll see what we actually have time to do, but still, it'll be awesome to see a part of Europe that is a little stuck back in time and used to be under communism. Unfortunately, things in these countries are evolving fast, catching on to capitalism and I think you have to hurry up if you want to get a glimpse at all at what it was like.

I'm SO due for a vacation...
;)

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

In Mourning

My team just lost and I will now go in mourning. This is not good. Germany is such a better team than Italy. Oh well, now I am for France, so they can kick some Italian butt.

Allez les bleus (John, that's all you need to learn in french for the game tomorrow)

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

World Cup Frenzy

On Friday night it was the opening game: 5 girls. one tv set. many liters of beer.

needless to say, I had FUN! It was a lot of fun to watch, and I've been watching since friday, since there are 3 games perday (one at 3pm, 6pm, 9pm). In Berlin, it's just crazy. There is not many bars or restaurants not showing the game... People everywhere drinking beer and watching the game. The whole public transport system is now working through the night, and at any time of the day you will hear people chanting, screaming, partying all over the city. People of all nations are here i the city now, and of all cities, let's just say that berliners aren't exactly known for their friendliness... oh well.

Sunday I went kayaking. This week we learned how to get straight up again when we accidentally flip over. (Those boats are mean things!!) It's a bit scary the first time you're head under water, because the lower part of your body is literally stuck in boat, but once you get the hang of it it's fun.
After a couple of hours I was really tired, and I thought I couldn't make it back to our starting point. Ironically, the last half hour I really pushed myself, over my personal boundaries, and I arrived 2nd out of 8. I was completely exhausted, but it feels good to know that your body has established a new limit of physical capacities.

Monday I woke up SICK. It was 30 degrees and beautiful outside. great. The bf was also sick, so we spent the day on the sofa underneath the covers taking care of each other.

I am for Germany for the World Cup, by the way, since Canada as usual is not playing. I've fallen in love with the number 2 Goal keeper, Olli Kahn (he's the Bundeskahn!) He is an ANIMAL! and I hope he'll be playing tomorrow night.

Ah, to be a soccer ball...

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Freak

Okay, I admit it, I am a total freak. Why, you ask? well, I always think I've done something wrong. I'll always replay my whole day in my head before falling asleep, trying to see if I made a mistake at work, if I said something stupid at the uni... When I get a message on my answering machine, I often analyse the tone of voice, trying to see if the person seemed pissed off at me and trying to hide it or not. Before I call the person back, I run our latest conversation in my head to try and see if I could have said something wrong or offensive...

Yes, I'm that bad...

Monday, May 29, 2006

Sometimes I just feel very very very little.

Sunday, May 28, 2006

*

The bf's parents where in Berlin over the week. They came over for dinner last night, and it was a big deal for me, because I really want them to like me. I cleaned the appartment spotless and made for dinner grilled salmon in a white wine cream saffron sauce with schallots and lime, rice, and a fresh salad to go with it. I think they liked it. Well, I'm happy it's over cause I was a nervous wreck the last three days.

Today I am starting a Kayak class, every sunday from 3pm tp 7pm. I'm excited about it, but right now the weather is not so good (13 degrees C and rain). But whatever, I'm canadian, I can take it.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

The Bunny Tee



One slight technical problem: people can't read the bottom line because my boobs are too big. Oh well.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

HELLO?????

My Bunny Tee is here! Yay! I'll have to model it for you guys and post it here.

On friday I will be hosting a little evening here, and I CAN'T WAIT!

I love playing hostess. in my new BUNNY TEE.

other than that, I'm tired as hell,been sleeping waaay too much, have been running to the doctor, giving a blood sample, will have the results on friday. Cross your fingers, cause I might have mononucleosis! My left knee is completely fucked up, I have a hard time walking around and am going to the orthopedist next week for that.

Is it just me or do I sound like I'm 93 years old?

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Shamelessly copied from John



I am SO getting a t-shirt made with this picture on it!

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Everything happens for a reason...

Well, I'm happy my flight booking didn't work! I just learned from the university that classes are starting on the 8th of january, not onthe 2nd, which means I'll be able to stay in Montreal one week longer over Christmas!

I'm in a really weird phase here now, because I'm really happy with my friends and all, and at the same time, I'm feeling really homesick, and miss my friends from home horribly.

Okay, so here's the plan: I will win the lottery, become insanely rich, buy an island somewhere and build a mansion on it, and ask all of my friends and their friends and family to move in with me in my mansion. Then we'll spend the whole day playing in the ocean, swimming with dolphins, getting a tan and drinking mojitos.

Who's with me on this one??

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Disappointment / La grosse surprise

Well, it was too good to be true. Got a message saying there was a problem with the booking. Turns out there was a mistake on the website and the flight I booked at a really cheap rate is not actually offered. So the booking is cancelled. Oh well, at least I know for sure that I'm coming home for sure for Christmas, and thats not an option!

Sur une autre note, Claude m'a mis une puce a l'oreille en me parlant d'une possible grosse surprise a mon retour, ce qui est CRUEL :) parce que je vais devoir attendre 7 mois pour finalement savoir c quoi, mais d'un autre cote, ca va me faire redoubler d'efforts pour me trouver un vol DISPONIBLE cette fois!!!


There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home...

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

I'M COMING HOME!!!!!!!

well, I've just booked a flight home for christmas!! I know it's far away, but still to me it means the world that I'm finally going to be able to see my family and friends again, even if its just for a couple of weeks...

YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Well now you know...

You Are a Lace Bra!

Dreamy, romantic, and ultra-feminine
You're a womanly woman who makes guys feel like men
Your perfect guy is strong, determined, and handsome
With a softer side that only you can draw out

Literature

Well, as all those who know me already know, I love reading. When my dad came, he brought me about 10 books (all my own books I had left in Canada). I've read through a bit more than the half and have just started canadian author Nino Ricci's
  • Testament
  • . I was a bit weary a the beginning, but I must say the book is growing on me... I'll update you when I'm done with it.

    Tuesday, April 25, 2006

    Motton!

    Avril, as-tu disparu de la surface de la terre??

    Sunday, April 23, 2006

    Yes, I'm still alive

    Well as John has pointed out in his comment on my last post, I haven't posted ina month. The reason is very simple: My dad was here until last thursday, and I didn't spend much time on the computer. It was a great three weeks, my dad is really a great guest, and I would have kept him 2 weeks longer!! :)

    It was hard when he left, because before he came to visit, it was as if I was living in a parallel universe or something, completely cut off from my family and friends from home. Now that he was actually here (the first one to visit me), I really REALLY felt home sick.

    THe second week that my dad was here my bf came back from spain and marocco. It was really good to see each other again.

    University has started last week on wednesday, so this will me my first full week of the summer semester. I think I'm starting to get the handle of the uni here, although I'm still in shock that I've actually managed to pass all my exams (in german) last semester...

    On a lighter note, there is an erotic fair here in Berlin, in my neighbourhood. There are posters everywhere advertising in and it in the Max-Schmeling-Halle. Yesterday as I'm walking home from work, I see a bunch of 17 year old boys, looking all awkward, and one comes up to me and asks "Excuse me, could you tell me how to get to the Max-Schmeling-Halle?" I know I'm evil, but I just couldn't resist... Me, fairly loud: " The Max-Schmeling-Halle? Oh, you mean the Erotic Fair! ..." and then I proceded to giving them directions, though I don't know if any of them actually listened to me, they were busy examining their shoes and becoming bright red. Na, anyways you have to be 18 to get in.

    Last night I played poker with a couple of friends until 4 am...

    Thats it for now, enjoy the spring, here flowers are blooming and trees are in flowers!!

    Thursday, March 23, 2006

    daddy's girl

    My daddy's coming over in ... one week!! Yep, next friday I will be picking my dad up at the airport! Haven't seen him in 9 months!! I'm such a daddy's girl...

    And the BF is coming back from Spain/Marocco one week later. Man, it went by so fast! What did I do in the last weeks? Work and party. Sometimes separately, sometimes at the same time. Yeah, I know, I love my job...

    I just LOVE it when it's early evening, I don't feel like working that much, and my boss calls me into the kitchen and asks... Champagne or Vodka?

    I work in a very small real estate company which caters to rich/famous people here in Berlin. We work from my bosses house in Grunewald, the nicest neighbourhood in Berlin. We work when we want, for how long we want, cook for one another, drink together, laugh together, cry together... 10 people between 23 and 60 years old... We speak all together 8 different languages, come from different origins...

    Not your typical german company.

    God I love my job.

    Wednesday, March 22, 2006

    Curious George

    okay, so.. who's out there? just out of curiosity, if you are reading this post, please leave a comment....

    Tuesday, March 14, 2006

    wow

    I just reread my last post and realized it sounds really bad. Just wanted to say, trust me, it's not as bad as it seems. Just needed to vent a bit. We did speak again on the phone later and sort things out. We're just so much opposites. He is so rational, I am totally emotional. For him, when he decided to go to spain during the semester break, he was thinking about his spanish, which he really needed to improve now, or lose it for good. He knew he would miss me, but since he can't change the situation, better not think about it and keep busy. I tick the other way around... As in "how can you leave for 6 weeks if you love me? won't you miss me?" Instead of thinking "what the heck!" and just make the most of it, my emotions are so strong, I miss him so much that sometimes it overpowers me.

    Basically, we both miss each other but have a drastically different approach of the situation, and I muss admit, I am mad at him for leaving, which I did not acknowledge before. so there you go.

    therapy in a box.

    am I normal?

    Monday, March 13, 2006

    My Emotions

    Sometimes i just can't take it anymore. Sometimes I just can't take it. He is in Spain, spends the saturday on the beach, having a vacation (language vacation to learn spanish). He chooses to just ignore me when I need him. It's so convenient to just fly away, ignoring my hurt and my wishes concerning his vacation. It's so easy to just shut his cell phone off and ignore my sms or calls. It's so easy for him to tell me on the phone that I should appreciate the LUXURY that I have, being in my home, where there's heating. excuse me? my luxury? staying alone in berlin to work because HE's gone to spain and marocco and doesn't know when he's coming back?

    when you have a relationship, you don't just shut the other person out when you don't feel like it anymore.

    I just couldn't take it anymore. I cried on the phone because I was so angry and I heard him chuckle in the background. Well, my evening here is going to be splendid, how about yours?

    Sometimes I just feel like packing my bags and going home.

    Sunday, March 12, 2006

    Been singing the same song my whole life long

    I've contacted a voice coach and will most probably be starting again to sing in the next weeks. I've missed it so much, I had burried a part of me without noticing it.

    My voice is my only way of truly expressing myself. My most vulnerable point and my greatest strength come out through it.

    I need this.

    Live with Me

    great, great song by masters Massive Attack, featuring a brilliant performance from Terry Callier. This song is worth your money.

    It don't matter, when you turn
    Gonna survive, live and learn.
    I've been thinking about you baby
    By the light of dawn, and in my blues
    Day and night, I been missing you

    I've been thinking about you baby,
    Almost makes me crazy,
    Come and live with me

    Either way, win or lose,
    When you're born into trouble you live the blues

    I've been thinking about you baby

    See it almost makes me crazy child
    Nothing's right if you ain't here
    I'd give all that I have just to, keep you near
    I wrote you a letter and tried to make it clear
    That you just don't believe that, I'm sincere.

    I've been thinking about you baby...

    Plans and schemes, hopes and fears
    Dreams i've denied for all these years

    I've been thinking about you babe, living with me, well.....
    I've been thinking about you baby, makes me wanna...child

    Nothing's right, if you ain't here
    I give all that I have just to keep you near
    I wrote you a letter darlin', trying to make it clear
    How much you just don't believe that I'm sincere.
    Thinking about you baby, I want you near me

    Wednesday, March 08, 2006

    Push

    Push just a little too late
    Is this what you want? What you need?
    Is this what you wanted me to be?
    Always loved me strapped to you
    Lock it down and drive me through
    Push just a little too late
    I wanted more than this
    I expected more than this

    (lyrics from canadian band Moist, song "Push")

    Monday, March 06, 2006

    Alone / Strong

    The Bf is away in Spain / Marocco for the next 6 weeks.

    Being alone reminds how much he is more than my bf, he is my roommate, my confidante, my best friend. He really knows who I am.

    Being alone reminds me who I am.

    Being alone reminds me how hard I have worked to be where I am. My close friends will understand - where could I have landed? Junkie? Sex worker? Sex addict? Who knows... Through my battles I always thought something had "saved" me. What I didn't understand then is that what saved me is actually myself. I always attributed my victories to someone else - my bf coming in to my life at a key moment, changing its direction... I changed its direction.

    I changed my direction. It takes courage to recognize that you are responsible for your hapiness, whether you're happy... or not.

    I will always remember the worst night of my life, which proved to be the night which would bring me the most tools to deal with life and learn to be happy. That night people whom I care dearly about were 500% there for me and I promised myself one thing: that I would use this "bad" experience to help others and turn it into something positive.

    Here is my message to anyone reading this: if ever, in your life, something happens, bad, horrible experiences, there is a reason to it that only you can find. You can always turn a bad experience into a learning opportunity: your ATTITUDE determines it all. trust me. You can choose to stop being the victim and become the healer.

    your choice.

    Thursday, March 02, 2006

    Carnaval! / Karneval!


    I spent the last couple of days at Carnaval in Cologne... That was a great way to wind down from the exams! You have never seen so much beer, so many costumed drunken people sing, dance, party together

    many parades, much much beer. The "kölsch" beer made in the region is really good! During Carnaval everybody is pretty much allowed to do what they want. You drink beer from right after lunch ( when you wake up) til the early hours of the morning).

    young or old, everybody parties together.

    At the "Rosenmontag" parade there are so many people! People gather around at the windows and the parade people throw candies at eveyone... It's like Halloween for adults with beer.



    I'm speechless.

    Geil, oder???

    Kölle Alaaf!

    Sunday, February 12, 2006

    News

    I thought I would give you guys a bit of news about wht's going on in my life... I will be having my first exams over the next two weeks... Most of which are in German. I signed up for four of them... Other students say I'm crazy. I'll just give it my best. Up to now a lot of people have told me I was being crazy in my decisions, especially over the past 2 years, but up to know it's always proved to be the right decisions, so why not try? I think I can.

    After the exams I will be visiting Cologne for the Carnaval, which promises to be a great way of celebrating the semester's end and the winter/spring vacation. Then I'm on vacation (read: no uni) for march and most of april. I will be working a lot to put some cash aside and be able to go home in september. My dad's coming to visit me 3 weeks in april. My boyfriend is going to Spain for 3 weeks and then travelling through Spain and Marocco for another 3 weeks. For those of you who will ask me if something's wrong or if i'm jealous, I'm telling you already: believe me, we have seen worse. We are THE team. Seriously.

    I've decided to use this time for myself, start working out seriously again, seeing my friends and basically just taking life as it comes. I think it'll be a great opportunity for him to travel alone and rediscover himself, and for me to take better care of myself and miss him a bit. I know already when he comes back it will be just like we were fresh in love. It always is. Relationships and people need space. If you let your true love completely and honestly go and live enriching experiences, believe me, he will come running back to you.

    It feels great to know that someone gets up every morning and consciously makes the choice to be with me, just the same as I do. It doesn't mean our relationship was always perfect, and we did have some rough spots but somehow our love has become so strong through them.

    Not so bad for almost 5 years, huh? I wish we'll continue to evolve together and be able to be ourselves within the relationship just as we are able to now in 20 years...

    Happy Valentine's Day and as a gift to the people you love, I suggest giving them space and acceptance, letting them be all they can and develop their potential. It's the best gift in my book.

    speed of sound

    coldplay

    How long before I get in?
    Before it starts, before I begin?
    How long before you decide?
    Before I know what it feels like?
    Where To, where do I go?
    If you never try, then you'll never know.
    How long do I have to climb,
    Up on the side of this mountain of mine?

    Look up, I look up at night,
    Planets are moving at the speed of light.
    Climb up, up in the trees,
    every chance that you get,
    is a chance you seize.
    How long am I gonna stand,
    with my head stuck under the sand?
    I'll start before I can stop,
    before I see things the right way up.

    All that noise, and all that sound,
    All those places I got found.
    And birds go flying at the speed of sound,
    to show you how it all began.
    Birds came flying from the underground,
    if you could see it then you'd understand?

    Ideas that you'll never find,
    All the inventors could never design.
    The buildings that you put up,
    Japan and China all lit up.
    The sign that I couldn't read,
    or a light that I couldn't see,
    some things you have to believe,
    but others are puzzles, puzzling me.

    All that noise, and all that sound,
    All those places I got found.
    And birds go flying at the speed of sound,
    to show you how it all began.
    Birds came flying from the underground,
    if you could see it then you'd understand,
    ah when you see it then you'll understand?

    All those signs, I knew what they meant.
    Some things you can invent.
    Some get made, and some get sent,
    Ooh?
    Birds go flying at the speed of sound,
    to show you how it all began.
    Birds came flying from the underground,
    if you could see it then you'd understand,
    ah, when you see it then you'll understand?

    Wednesday, February 08, 2006

    Appreciating Happiness

    Has it ever happened to you to just be walking in the street, sitting at home, in the subway, wherever, and just thinking:

    "I am so happy"

    "I feel so fulfilled"

    "I know I am where am I meant to be"?

    Well, to me it has been happening more and more often. Every choice I make, every opportunity I receive, every smile I discover on my own lips, not even knowing it was there... These are bits and pieces of happiness.

    Life has been telling me I have been making right decisions. Through new opportunities, signs, coincidences (which actually aren't)... I appreciate it so much. I'm in love with my life right now, and never want this feeling to stop.

    I'm not saying I'm satisfied and happy 24 hours a day. I'm just saying I have somehow learned to accept the moments of sadness and unsatisfaction as either chances to learn and improve or a lesson to be able to appreciate to its full extent the next moment of pure bliss.

    I have made the decision to be happy in my life. Yes, it is a decision.

    I have chosen myself.

    and it feels great.

    Sunday, February 05, 2006

    Under Pressure

    What is pressure?

    Is it the deadlines we don't meet?

    The ones we accept well knowing we won't be able to meet them?

    Is it the tone in the boss/spouses voice when you walk in the door?

    The tone in the messages on the answering machine?

    The guilt when we see the number on caller id and don't answer?


    I think the only real pressure we experience is the one we put on ourselves. It's not the external factors, triggers and situations that make us react this way, it's actually our own reaction that is the key element, the source. We cannot control ourselves completely, never will be able too, never be able to control the external world.

    What if the key to it would be letting everything go? To stop the continuous flow of images in our head and just experience the silence.

    enjoy the silence (depeche mode)

    I aspire to interior peace and hope one day I will be able to fully let go.

    can you?

    Monday, January 30, 2006

    Like I Do

    (Melissa Etheridge)

    Is it so hard to satisfy your senses
    You found out to love me you have to climb some fences
    Scratching and crawling along the floor to touch you
    And just when it feels right you say you found someone else to hold you
    Does she like I do

    Tell me does she love you like the way I love you
    Does she stimulate you attract and captivate you
    Tell me does she miss you existing just to kiss you
    Like the way I do
    Tell me does she want you infatuate and haunt you
    Does she know just how to shock and electrify and rock you
    Does she inject you seduce you and affect you
    Like the way I do

    Can I survive all the implications
    Even if I tried could you be less than an addiction
    Don’t you think I know there’s so many others
    Who would beg steal and lie fight kill and die
    Just to hold you hold you like I do

    Tell me does she love you like the way I love you
    Does she stimulate you attract and captivate you
    Tell me does she miss you existing just to kiss you
    Like the way I do
    Tell me does she want you infatuate and haunt you
    Does she know just how to shock and electrify and rock you
    Does she inject you seduce you and affect you
    Like the way I do

    Nobody loves you like the way I do
    Nobody wants you like the way I do
    Nobody needs you like the way I do
    Nobody aches nobody aches just to hold you
    Like the way I do

    Tell me does she love you like the way I love you
    Does she stimulate you attract and captivate you
    Tell me does she miss you existing just to kiss you
    Like the way I do
    Tell me does she want you infatuate and haunt you
    Does she know just how to shock and electrify and rock you
    Does she inject you seduce you and affect you
    Like the way I do

    Sunday, January 29, 2006

    Impossible?

    A question has been running through my head well... pretty much my whole life. What is impossible? What makes something impossible? Is there really something that is impossible? hmm...

    Of course, when thinking about laws of nature, one could argue that some things are impossble. I will never, for example,be able to jump 5 meters high. These are objective impossibilities. But actually, I believe the lives of people are made up of subjective impossibilities, or put more positively: subjective possibilities!

    What holds you back from packing your bags and moving to a new country? Just to try it. Just to see if it would work. Just to test your limits. or capacities. What made it possible for me to learn german in three years and move here and what makes it impossible for family members of mine to even imagine that they could one day travel to Europe to visit me? Subjective impossibilities. Subjective limits.

    I believe we force limits upon ourselves. Some of these were imposed on us culturally, by our family, parents, some of them we chose ourselves. If you really want something, you can achieve it. Everyone has so many hidden talents, hidden capacities, and we don't push ourselves, so we don't develop or experience it. We are all to some point a stranger to ourselves. Open up. Forget the walls in your head and ask yourself the following questions:

    1) what if it was possible?
    2) what are you doing?

    Answering these and other questions arouses the personal awareness. Where are you in your life and what do you want? Then, the snow ball effect comes flying in. If you push yourself spiritually, intellectually, and physically, you will discover things you thought were objective impossibilities.

    Take nothing for granted. Do not mix up subjective impossibilities with objective impossibilities. Require the best of yourself, but know how to accept your failures, use them to grow.

    Live now

    Tuesday, January 24, 2006

    Opportunities

    Opportunities are the key.

    I have been working the past months as a language teacher. Always between 2 clients, running from one end of the city to the other and thinking: why?

    Of course, to pay my bills, and all, but I never really thought it would bring me to something else. Finally I was proven wrong.

    This week I was offered a job. A real one. The mother of one of the kids I have for tutoring has her own real estate company at home and offered me to work as her secretary part time. It's perfect: flexible hours, good pay, fun environment. Today was my first day and the whole team sat down with me at the end of the day to have a glass of wine and toast my arrival!I really feel accepted and that I'm going to like working there.

    In other news, 2 of my new clients are scuba diving instructors and need to practice their english to be able to teach somewhere in the south, and they're going to certify me!!

    And, on sunday, for the first time in my life, I won at the lottery: 10 euros! yay me!

    Observing this streak of "luck" or whatever you want to call it, it confirms my belief that I made the decision to come here. I believe deeply that life always points you in the direction you should be going, and it's your choice to take the hint or not. When you are fine-tuned to the universe, you hear what it's saying.

    I do not believe in coincidences, I believe in messages. I believe in destiny, but a flexible, ever changing one. I believe in taking control of your life, but by stopping to actually listen to it. If you are unsatisfied with your life, you are the only one who can change that. Look at the future, but remember your past, good times as well as hard times, because they are what made you who you are today. Better said, through them you were able to achieve your potential. Learn from your mistakes and use the tools you acquire through them.

    A good friend of mine started his own blog a little while ago, and I find it interesting and inspiring... for those of you who speak french (quebecois), please indulge:

  • Dino
  • I want to be a superstar

    I've been following "Deutschland sucht den Superstar" lately, (german version of american/canadian idol).

    I wanna be a superstar! I am so trying out for the next auditions! I have nothing to lose! I have a better voice than an average person, and I think I can be charming and have stage presence, so why not.

    would you vote for me?