I thought I would give you guys a bit of news about wht's going on in my life... I will be having my first exams over the next two weeks... Most of which are in German. I signed up for four of them... Other students say I'm crazy. I'll just give it my best. Up to now a lot of people have told me I was being crazy in my decisions, especially over the past 2 years, but up to know it's always proved to be the right decisions, so why not try? I think I can.
After the exams I will be visiting Cologne for the Carnaval, which promises to be a great way of celebrating the semester's end and the winter/spring vacation. Then I'm on vacation (read: no uni) for march and most of april. I will be working a lot to put some cash aside and be able to go home in september. My dad's coming to visit me 3 weeks in april. My boyfriend is going to Spain for 3 weeks and then travelling through Spain and Marocco for another 3 weeks. For those of you who will ask me if something's wrong or if i'm jealous, I'm telling you already: believe me, we have seen worse. We are THE team. Seriously.
I've decided to use this time for myself, start working out seriously again, seeing my friends and basically just taking life as it comes. I think it'll be a great opportunity for him to travel alone and rediscover himself, and for me to take better care of myself and miss him a bit. I know already when he comes back it will be just like we were fresh in love. It always is. Relationships and people need space. If you let your true love completely and honestly go and live enriching experiences, believe me, he will come running back to you.
It feels great to know that someone gets up every morning and consciously makes the choice to be with me, just the same as I do. It doesn't mean our relationship was always perfect, and we did have some rough spots but somehow our love has become so strong through them.
Not so bad for almost 5 years, huh? I wish we'll continue to evolve together and be able to be ourselves within the relationship just as we are able to now in 20 years...
Happy Valentine's Day and as a gift to the people you love, I suggest giving them space and acceptance, letting them be all they can and develop their potential. It's the best gift in my book.
Sunday, February 12, 2006
speed of sound
coldplay
How long before I get in?
Before it starts, before I begin?
How long before you decide?
Before I know what it feels like?
Where To, where do I go?
If you never try, then you'll never know.
How long do I have to climb,
Up on the side of this mountain of mine?
Look up, I look up at night,
Planets are moving at the speed of light.
Climb up, up in the trees,
every chance that you get,
is a chance you seize.
How long am I gonna stand,
with my head stuck under the sand?
I'll start before I can stop,
before I see things the right way up.
All that noise, and all that sound,
All those places I got found.
And birds go flying at the speed of sound,
to show you how it all began.
Birds came flying from the underground,
if you could see it then you'd understand?
Ideas that you'll never find,
All the inventors could never design.
The buildings that you put up,
Japan and China all lit up.
The sign that I couldn't read,
or a light that I couldn't see,
some things you have to believe,
but others are puzzles, puzzling me.
All that noise, and all that sound,
All those places I got found.
And birds go flying at the speed of sound,
to show you how it all began.
Birds came flying from the underground,
if you could see it then you'd understand,
ah when you see it then you'll understand?
All those signs, I knew what they meant.
Some things you can invent.
Some get made, and some get sent,
Ooh?
Birds go flying at the speed of sound,
to show you how it all began.
Birds came flying from the underground,
if you could see it then you'd understand,
ah, when you see it then you'll understand?
How long before I get in?
Before it starts, before I begin?
How long before you decide?
Before I know what it feels like?
Where To, where do I go?
If you never try, then you'll never know.
How long do I have to climb,
Up on the side of this mountain of mine?
Look up, I look up at night,
Planets are moving at the speed of light.
Climb up, up in the trees,
every chance that you get,
is a chance you seize.
How long am I gonna stand,
with my head stuck under the sand?
I'll start before I can stop,
before I see things the right way up.
All that noise, and all that sound,
All those places I got found.
And birds go flying at the speed of sound,
to show you how it all began.
Birds came flying from the underground,
if you could see it then you'd understand?
Ideas that you'll never find,
All the inventors could never design.
The buildings that you put up,
Japan and China all lit up.
The sign that I couldn't read,
or a light that I couldn't see,
some things you have to believe,
but others are puzzles, puzzling me.
All that noise, and all that sound,
All those places I got found.
And birds go flying at the speed of sound,
to show you how it all began.
Birds came flying from the underground,
if you could see it then you'd understand,
ah when you see it then you'll understand?
All those signs, I knew what they meant.
Some things you can invent.
Some get made, and some get sent,
Ooh?
Birds go flying at the speed of sound,
to show you how it all began.
Birds came flying from the underground,
if you could see it then you'd understand,
ah, when you see it then you'll understand?
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Appreciating Happiness
Has it ever happened to you to just be walking in the street, sitting at home, in the subway, wherever, and just thinking:
"I am so happy"
"I feel so fulfilled"
"I know I am where am I meant to be"?
Well, to me it has been happening more and more often. Every choice I make, every opportunity I receive, every smile I discover on my own lips, not even knowing it was there... These are bits and pieces of happiness.
Life has been telling me I have been making right decisions. Through new opportunities, signs, coincidences (which actually aren't)... I appreciate it so much. I'm in love with my life right now, and never want this feeling to stop.
I'm not saying I'm satisfied and happy 24 hours a day. I'm just saying I have somehow learned to accept the moments of sadness and unsatisfaction as either chances to learn and improve or a lesson to be able to appreciate to its full extent the next moment of pure bliss.
I have made the decision to be happy in my life. Yes, it is a decision.
I have chosen myself.
and it feels great.
"I am so happy"
"I feel so fulfilled"
"I know I am where am I meant to be"?
Well, to me it has been happening more and more often. Every choice I make, every opportunity I receive, every smile I discover on my own lips, not even knowing it was there... These are bits and pieces of happiness.
Life has been telling me I have been making right decisions. Through new opportunities, signs, coincidences (which actually aren't)... I appreciate it so much. I'm in love with my life right now, and never want this feeling to stop.
I'm not saying I'm satisfied and happy 24 hours a day. I'm just saying I have somehow learned to accept the moments of sadness and unsatisfaction as either chances to learn and improve or a lesson to be able to appreciate to its full extent the next moment of pure bliss.
I have made the decision to be happy in my life. Yes, it is a decision.
I have chosen myself.
and it feels great.
Sunday, February 05, 2006
Under Pressure
What is pressure?
Is it the deadlines we don't meet?
The ones we accept well knowing we won't be able to meet them?
Is it the tone in the boss/spouses voice when you walk in the door?
The tone in the messages on the answering machine?
The guilt when we see the number on caller id and don't answer?
I think the only real pressure we experience is the one we put on ourselves. It's not the external factors, triggers and situations that make us react this way, it's actually our own reaction that is the key element, the source. We cannot control ourselves completely, never will be able too, never be able to control the external world.
What if the key to it would be letting everything go? To stop the continuous flow of images in our head and just experience the silence.
enjoy the silence (depeche mode)
I aspire to interior peace and hope one day I will be able to fully let go.
can you?
Is it the deadlines we don't meet?
The ones we accept well knowing we won't be able to meet them?
Is it the tone in the boss/spouses voice when you walk in the door?
The tone in the messages on the answering machine?
The guilt when we see the number on caller id and don't answer?
I think the only real pressure we experience is the one we put on ourselves. It's not the external factors, triggers and situations that make us react this way, it's actually our own reaction that is the key element, the source. We cannot control ourselves completely, never will be able too, never be able to control the external world.
What if the key to it would be letting everything go? To stop the continuous flow of images in our head and just experience the silence.
enjoy the silence (depeche mode)
I aspire to interior peace and hope one day I will be able to fully let go.
can you?
Monday, January 30, 2006
Like I Do
(Melissa Etheridge)
Is it so hard to satisfy your senses
You found out to love me you have to climb some fences
Scratching and crawling along the floor to touch you
And just when it feels right you say you found someone else to hold you
Does she like I do
Tell me does she love you like the way I love you
Does she stimulate you attract and captivate you
Tell me does she miss you existing just to kiss you
Like the way I do
Tell me does she want you infatuate and haunt you
Does she know just how to shock and electrify and rock you
Does she inject you seduce you and affect you
Like the way I do
Can I survive all the implications
Even if I tried could you be less than an addiction
Don’t you think I know there’s so many others
Who would beg steal and lie fight kill and die
Just to hold you hold you like I do
Tell me does she love you like the way I love you
Does she stimulate you attract and captivate you
Tell me does she miss you existing just to kiss you
Like the way I do
Tell me does she want you infatuate and haunt you
Does she know just how to shock and electrify and rock you
Does she inject you seduce you and affect you
Like the way I do
Nobody loves you like the way I do
Nobody wants you like the way I do
Nobody needs you like the way I do
Nobody aches nobody aches just to hold you
Like the way I do
Tell me does she love you like the way I love you
Does she stimulate you attract and captivate you
Tell me does she miss you existing just to kiss you
Like the way I do
Tell me does she want you infatuate and haunt you
Does she know just how to shock and electrify and rock you
Does she inject you seduce you and affect you
Like the way I do
Is it so hard to satisfy your senses
You found out to love me you have to climb some fences
Scratching and crawling along the floor to touch you
And just when it feels right you say you found someone else to hold you
Does she like I do
Tell me does she love you like the way I love you
Does she stimulate you attract and captivate you
Tell me does she miss you existing just to kiss you
Like the way I do
Tell me does she want you infatuate and haunt you
Does she know just how to shock and electrify and rock you
Does she inject you seduce you and affect you
Like the way I do
Can I survive all the implications
Even if I tried could you be less than an addiction
Don’t you think I know there’s so many others
Who would beg steal and lie fight kill and die
Just to hold you hold you like I do
Tell me does she love you like the way I love you
Does she stimulate you attract and captivate you
Tell me does she miss you existing just to kiss you
Like the way I do
Tell me does she want you infatuate and haunt you
Does she know just how to shock and electrify and rock you
Does she inject you seduce you and affect you
Like the way I do
Nobody loves you like the way I do
Nobody wants you like the way I do
Nobody needs you like the way I do
Nobody aches nobody aches just to hold you
Like the way I do
Tell me does she love you like the way I love you
Does she stimulate you attract and captivate you
Tell me does she miss you existing just to kiss you
Like the way I do
Tell me does she want you infatuate and haunt you
Does she know just how to shock and electrify and rock you
Does she inject you seduce you and affect you
Like the way I do
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Impossible?
A question has been running through my head well... pretty much my whole life. What is impossible? What makes something impossible? Is there really something that is impossible? hmm...
Of course, when thinking about laws of nature, one could argue that some things are impossble. I will never, for example,be able to jump 5 meters high. These are objective impossibilities. But actually, I believe the lives of people are made up of subjective impossibilities, or put more positively: subjective possibilities!
What holds you back from packing your bags and moving to a new country? Just to try it. Just to see if it would work. Just to test your limits. or capacities. What made it possible for me to learn german in three years and move here and what makes it impossible for family members of mine to even imagine that they could one day travel to Europe to visit me? Subjective impossibilities. Subjective limits.
I believe we force limits upon ourselves. Some of these were imposed on us culturally, by our family, parents, some of them we chose ourselves. If you really want something, you can achieve it. Everyone has so many hidden talents, hidden capacities, and we don't push ourselves, so we don't develop or experience it. We are all to some point a stranger to ourselves. Open up. Forget the walls in your head and ask yourself the following questions:
1) what if it was possible?
2) what are you doing?
Answering these and other questions arouses the personal awareness. Where are you in your life and what do you want? Then, the snow ball effect comes flying in. If you push yourself spiritually, intellectually, and physically, you will discover things you thought were objective impossibilities.
Take nothing for granted. Do not mix up subjective impossibilities with objective impossibilities. Require the best of yourself, but know how to accept your failures, use them to grow.
Live now
Of course, when thinking about laws of nature, one could argue that some things are impossble. I will never, for example,be able to jump 5 meters high. These are objective impossibilities. But actually, I believe the lives of people are made up of subjective impossibilities, or put more positively: subjective possibilities!
What holds you back from packing your bags and moving to a new country? Just to try it. Just to see if it would work. Just to test your limits. or capacities. What made it possible for me to learn german in three years and move here and what makes it impossible for family members of mine to even imagine that they could one day travel to Europe to visit me? Subjective impossibilities. Subjective limits.
I believe we force limits upon ourselves. Some of these were imposed on us culturally, by our family, parents, some of them we chose ourselves. If you really want something, you can achieve it. Everyone has so many hidden talents, hidden capacities, and we don't push ourselves, so we don't develop or experience it. We are all to some point a stranger to ourselves. Open up. Forget the walls in your head and ask yourself the following questions:
1) what if it was possible?
2) what are you doing?
Answering these and other questions arouses the personal awareness. Where are you in your life and what do you want? Then, the snow ball effect comes flying in. If you push yourself spiritually, intellectually, and physically, you will discover things you thought were objective impossibilities.
Take nothing for granted. Do not mix up subjective impossibilities with objective impossibilities. Require the best of yourself, but know how to accept your failures, use them to grow.
Live now
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Opportunities
Opportunities are the key.
I have been working the past months as a language teacher. Always between 2 clients, running from one end of the city to the other and thinking: why?
Of course, to pay my bills, and all, but I never really thought it would bring me to something else. Finally I was proven wrong.
This week I was offered a job. A real one. The mother of one of the kids I have for tutoring has her own real estate company at home and offered me to work as her secretary part time. It's perfect: flexible hours, good pay, fun environment. Today was my first day and the whole team sat down with me at the end of the day to have a glass of wine and toast my arrival!I really feel accepted and that I'm going to like working there.
In other news, 2 of my new clients are scuba diving instructors and need to practice their english to be able to teach somewhere in the south, and they're going to certify me!!
And, on sunday, for the first time in my life, I won at the lottery: 10 euros! yay me!
Observing this streak of "luck" or whatever you want to call it, it confirms my belief that I made the decision to come here. I believe deeply that life always points you in the direction you should be going, and it's your choice to take the hint or not. When you are fine-tuned to the universe, you hear what it's saying.
I do not believe in coincidences, I believe in messages. I believe in destiny, but a flexible, ever changing one. I believe in taking control of your life, but by stopping to actually listen to it. If you are unsatisfied with your life, you are the only one who can change that. Look at the future, but remember your past, good times as well as hard times, because they are what made you who you are today. Better said, through them you were able to achieve your potential. Learn from your mistakes and use the tools you acquire through them.
A good friend of mine started his own blog a little while ago, and I find it interesting and inspiring... for those of you who speak french (quebecois), please indulge:
Dino
I have been working the past months as a language teacher. Always between 2 clients, running from one end of the city to the other and thinking: why?
Of course, to pay my bills, and all, but I never really thought it would bring me to something else. Finally I was proven wrong.
This week I was offered a job. A real one. The mother of one of the kids I have for tutoring has her own real estate company at home and offered me to work as her secretary part time. It's perfect: flexible hours, good pay, fun environment. Today was my first day and the whole team sat down with me at the end of the day to have a glass of wine and toast my arrival!I really feel accepted and that I'm going to like working there.
In other news, 2 of my new clients are scuba diving instructors and need to practice their english to be able to teach somewhere in the south, and they're going to certify me!!
And, on sunday, for the first time in my life, I won at the lottery: 10 euros! yay me!
Observing this streak of "luck" or whatever you want to call it, it confirms my belief that I made the decision to come here. I believe deeply that life always points you in the direction you should be going, and it's your choice to take the hint or not. When you are fine-tuned to the universe, you hear what it's saying.
I do not believe in coincidences, I believe in messages. I believe in destiny, but a flexible, ever changing one. I believe in taking control of your life, but by stopping to actually listen to it. If you are unsatisfied with your life, you are the only one who can change that. Look at the future, but remember your past, good times as well as hard times, because they are what made you who you are today. Better said, through them you were able to achieve your potential. Learn from your mistakes and use the tools you acquire through them.
A good friend of mine started his own blog a little while ago, and I find it interesting and inspiring... for those of you who speak french (quebecois), please indulge:
I want to be a superstar
I've been following "Deutschland sucht den Superstar" lately, (german version of american/canadian idol).
I wanna be a superstar! I am so trying out for the next auditions! I have nothing to lose! I have a better voice than an average person, and I think I can be charming and have stage presence, so why not.
would you vote for me?
I wanna be a superstar! I am so trying out for the next auditions! I have nothing to lose! I have a better voice than an average person, and I think I can be charming and have stage presence, so why not.
would you vote for me?
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Merry Christmas!
I am leaving Berlin tomorrow morning to go to Bad Honnef, in my bf's family. This time of year I honestly miss my friends and family most of all. But hey, at least I'm not going to be alone on Christmas!
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to everyone!
Those who have the luck of having SNOW for Christmas (ahem - montrealers), ENJOY IT.
I haven't got any!
xx
francoise
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to everyone!
Those who have the luck of having SNOW for Christmas (ahem - montrealers), ENJOY IT.
I haven't got any!
xx
francoise
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Flowers
Today I received these beautiful flowers from my bf. For nothing. It's just one of those little things that make your day worthwhile.
We'll be in my boyfriend's family over the holidays, and back in Berlin on the 29th. Probably going to spend the 31st on Unter den Linden, near the Branderburger Tor.
I have my first presentation to do at the University on Friday, and yes, it's in German!
The kids to whom I give language classes have been progressing, more or less, each at their own rythm. I'm slowly feeling like I'm catching a normal rythm of life.
It's starting to feel like home. Finally.
Friday, November 25, 2005
Snowy morning
When I woke up this morning, everything was white. The few trees we almost call our own are bare and I could see the backs of the houses from the next street. It wasn't quite bright yet, as the sun has been delaying it's entry and leaving ever more earlier, but the snow just gave a slight shimmering tone to everything. I snuggled up, close to the window, with a steaming cup of coffee, and watched nature's pure magic on a city so grey.
I noticed a light on, on the other side of the yard. I was wondering, are they too, taking the time to enjoy the morning snow? Are they peering across the yard and wondering, if I'm wondering, too?
A little bird hoped from one branch to another, looking like it was trying to find a warm spot, some comfort in the cold. And the snow kept falling and falling, in tiny little snowflakes, landing on my windowsill, and welcoming me to the world, with their beauty, for a brand new day.
I noticed a light on, on the other side of the yard. I was wondering, are they too, taking the time to enjoy the morning snow? Are they peering across the yard and wondering, if I'm wondering, too?
A little bird hoped from one branch to another, looking like it was trying to find a warm spot, some comfort in the cold. And the snow kept falling and falling, in tiny little snowflakes, landing on my windowsill, and welcoming me to the world, with their beauty, for a brand new day.
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
blogger's block
so I'm sitting here, not quite sure what I should write... feeling bad abour not posting more often... and actually absolutely extenuated. Yep, I'm making money folks! It just barely covers my basic expenses, but at least some of it is coming in. I was feeling really bummed out earlier this week because I really wanted to go home in march, but I have to face it: I just don't have the money. I'll try for august. My mom is going to be so disappointed...
Ah well. on a lighter note, I feel like I'm building slowly a circle of friends, person after person, slowly making friends. I started this english literature calss which is absolutely amazing, I had forgotten how good I was at literary analysis, and how much I actually enjoyed it.
I'm basically living like a poor student - which is what I am anyways... Had spaghetti fot dinner - again. I can't wait to make a bit more money and buy the last 2 manuals I'm missing for university. They're 15 euros a piece, and right now I just can't manage to pay that.
oh well. it'll get better.
Ah well. on a lighter note, I feel like I'm building slowly a circle of friends, person after person, slowly making friends. I started this english literature calss which is absolutely amazing, I had forgotten how good I was at literary analysis, and how much I actually enjoyed it.
I'm basically living like a poor student - which is what I am anyways... Had spaghetti fot dinner - again. I can't wait to make a bit more money and buy the last 2 manuals I'm missing for university. They're 15 euros a piece, and right now I just can't manage to pay that.
oh well. it'll get better.
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
random thoughts
you what really demands concentration? having everyday classes at the uni in german. Man am I tired when I get home! I'm now known as "the french speaking canadian girl" in my program. I've also started giving french and english lessons... really not too bad and pretty interesting! My life has been pretty much boring the last week and a half, just adjusting to my new life here. This evening I ate a ham and cheese sandwich, straight out of the sandwich maker ( you know, those machines that grill your sandwich and make the cheese melt!) it's kinda stupid, but it tasted like home.
another interesting thing is that at the uni, I have classes in english and classes in german. Well, of course all classes in english are given by german professors who speak horrible english and 2/3 of the classes in german are given either by french or english native speakers, so their german is even harder to understand as the german professors' english...
Went to a really cool party saturday night at a mini-golf center. funny.
We won't be eating chicken for a while here,... hope it doesn't get to north america!
I miss my family.
I miss normal University. I miss people who speak with a quebecois accent in french and who say "eh" in english. I miss maple syrup. I miss having a job where I'm making a lot of money (ok, I DON'T miss working every saturday and sunday), I miss bacon and toast for breakfast. I miss Tout le Monde en Parle with Guy A. Lepage. I miss Enjeux. I miss walking home on Mont-Royal street, late at night after work, seeing all the people huddled in the barsand restaurants, talking with friends, being happy. I miss the smell of Autumn. I miss the friendly way people have in Quebec, that if you get along with someone you just met, chances are they will invite you for coffee or a drink. I miss making witty comments in class that make the students laugh and the teachers smile. I miss walking on the street and bumping in to people I haven't seen in a long time (mind you, if and when it'll happen here, now THAT'll be the day!). I miss shopping downtown, and popping in to a bikini shop where my friend works, just to say hi, and then finding out she was just about to go on break, and having lunch together.
The worse thing is, I know that if, for whatever reason, I were to go back to Montreal to live, 1) it would not be like in my memories and 2) I'd probably start missing stuff from over here!
another interesting thing is that at the uni, I have classes in english and classes in german. Well, of course all classes in english are given by german professors who speak horrible english and 2/3 of the classes in german are given either by french or english native speakers, so their german is even harder to understand as the german professors' english...
Went to a really cool party saturday night at a mini-golf center. funny.
We won't be eating chicken for a while here,... hope it doesn't get to north america!
I miss my family.
I miss normal University. I miss people who speak with a quebecois accent in french and who say "eh" in english. I miss maple syrup. I miss having a job where I'm making a lot of money (ok, I DON'T miss working every saturday and sunday), I miss bacon and toast for breakfast. I miss Tout le Monde en Parle with Guy A. Lepage. I miss Enjeux. I miss walking home on Mont-Royal street, late at night after work, seeing all the people huddled in the barsand restaurants, talking with friends, being happy. I miss the smell of Autumn. I miss the friendly way people have in Quebec, that if you get along with someone you just met, chances are they will invite you for coffee or a drink. I miss making witty comments in class that make the students laugh and the teachers smile. I miss walking on the street and bumping in to people I haven't seen in a long time (mind you, if and when it'll happen here, now THAT'll be the day!). I miss shopping downtown, and popping in to a bikini shop where my friend works, just to say hi, and then finding out she was just about to go on break, and having lunch together.
The worse thing is, I know that if, for whatever reason, I were to go back to Montreal to live, 1) it would not be like in my memories and 2) I'd probably start missing stuff from over here!
Saturday, October 22, 2005
YO!
howly cow has it been a while! so, had my first classes at the uni, met tons of people! Last night I was invited out with a group of girls (all german, yay!) and really had a good time. It felt SO GREAT to finally meet new people, make new friends and just have a blast... Get a load of this: my bf met a girl in one of his classes, she's german, went to canada, met a canadian, brought him back, and they're here in Berlin since the beginning of october. How cool is that?!?! They're coming over tonight for drinks. I found a mini job as tutor for a 13 year old kid in english and french, and it's pretty well payed, and he's so bad he needs 6 hours a week ( that's more than what he actually gets in school). But hey, I'm not complaining! I also signed up for a hip hop class at the university's sport center, which feels soooo great to finally be moving and dancing again ( I used to do hip hop once a week in montreal and I was REALLY missing it!) I also made a friend there, a girl from Leipzig. It's really great here, I'm finding out I make friends so easily, and also that my german is actually quite good! Everything is going so fast, I'm absolutely exhausted of all the new experiences, the new classes at university, the new friends, FINALLY starting to really party again, but I am absolutely happy. And the Queen of the world. HA!
YAY ME!
YAY ME!
Monday, October 10, 2005
Nightmare
I've been having this recurring nightmare for about 1 year/1 year and a half. It's not always the same, the setting changes, the circumstances change, the people change... but one thing stays. It's always some sort of tsunami. And it started way before the tsunami in Thailand. I'm always on a beach, or on the side of a lake, and there's always some kind of wall next to me: a hill, a hotel wall. a huge tree... Anyways, I'm always having fun, and then I realize something's wrong with the water.Terribly wrong. I try to run away, but everything goes so slowly. Except the wave. It's like, 50 meters high. I see the wall/ hill, and I know I'm going to violently crash into it as soon as the wave hits me. I feel absolutely horrified, and try to run away but somehow I just can't. The feeling I have when I wake up is just absolute dread. What's strange is that in my life, I was never, ever afraid of water, quite the contrary...my parents couldn't manage to get me away from the ocean when I was a kid, and my boyfriend too, now that I'm an adult... I've tried to find any movies I would have seen, books I would have read... to no avail.
I wish these water nightmares would stop, as I have them quite frequently ( at least once a month) and they always leave me drained... and terrified of the water.
I wish these water nightmares would stop, as I have them quite frequently ( at least once a month) and they always leave me drained... and terrified of the water.
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