Snowy morning

When I woke up this morning, everything was white. The few trees we almost call our own are bare and I could see the backs of the houses from the next street. It wasn't quite bright yet, as the sun has been delaying it's entry and leaving ever more earlier, but the snow just gave a slight shimmering tone to everything. I snuggled up, close to the window, with a steaming cup of coffee, and watched nature's pure magic on a city so grey.

I noticed a light on, on the other side of the yard. I was wondering, are they too, taking the time to enjoy the morning snow? Are they peering across the yard and wondering, if I'm wondering, too?

A little bird hoped from one branch to another, looking like it was trying to find a warm spot, some comfort in the cold. And the snow kept falling and falling, in tiny little snowflakes, landing on my windowsill, and welcoming me to the world, with their beauty, for a brand new day.

blogger's block

so I'm sitting here, not quite sure what I should write... feeling bad abour not posting more often... and actually absolutely extenuated. Yep, I'm making money folks! It just barely covers my basic expenses, but at least some of it is coming in. I was feeling really bummed out earlier this week because I really wanted to go home in march, but I have to face it: I just don't have the money. I'll try for august. My mom is going to be so disappointed...

Ah well. on a lighter note, I feel like I'm building slowly a circle of friends, person after person, slowly making friends. I started this english literature calss which is absolutely amazing, I had forgotten how good I was at literary analysis, and how much I actually enjoyed it.

I'm basically living like a poor student - which is what I am anyways... Had spaghetti fot dinner - again. I can't wait to make a bit more money and buy the last 2 manuals I'm missing for university. They're 15 euros a piece, and right now I just can't manage to pay that.

oh well. it'll get better.

random thoughts

you what really demands concentration? having everyday classes at the uni in german. Man am I tired when I get home! I'm now known as "the french speaking canadian girl" in my program. I've also started giving french and english lessons... really not too bad and pretty interesting! My life has been pretty much boring the last week and a half, just adjusting to my new life here. This evening I ate a ham and cheese sandwich, straight out of the sandwich maker ( you know, those machines that grill your sandwich and make the cheese melt!) it's kinda stupid, but it tasted like home.

another interesting thing is that at the uni, I have classes in english and classes in german. Well, of course all classes in english are given by german professors who speak horrible english and 2/3 of the classes in german are given either by french or english native speakers, so their german is even harder to understand as the german professors' english...

Went to a really cool party saturday night at a mini-golf center. funny.

We won't be eating chicken for a while here,... hope it doesn't get to north america!


I miss my family.

I miss normal University. I miss people who speak with a quebecois accent in french and who say "eh" in english. I miss maple syrup. I miss having a job where I'm making a lot of money (ok, I DON'T miss working every saturday and sunday), I miss bacon and toast for breakfast. I miss Tout le Monde en Parle with Guy A. Lepage. I miss Enjeux. I miss walking home on Mont-Royal street, late at night after work, seeing all the people huddled in the barsand restaurants, talking with friends, being happy. I miss the smell of Autumn. I miss the friendly way people have in Quebec, that if you get along with someone you just met, chances are they will invite you for coffee or a drink. I miss making witty comments in class that make the students laugh and the teachers smile. I miss walking on the street and bumping in to people I haven't seen in a long time (mind you, if and when it'll happen here, now THAT'll be the day!). I miss shopping downtown, and popping in to a bikini shop where my friend works, just to say hi, and then finding out she was just about to go on break, and having lunch together.

The worse thing is, I know that if, for whatever reason, I were to go back to Montreal to live, 1) it would not be like in my memories and 2) I'd probably start missing stuff from over here!

YO!

howly cow has it been a while! so, had my first classes at the uni, met tons of people! Last night I was invited out with a group of girls (all german, yay!) and really had a good time. It felt SO GREAT to finally meet new people, make new friends and just have a blast... Get a load of this: my bf met a girl in one of his classes, she's german, went to canada, met a canadian, brought him back, and they're here in Berlin since the beginning of october. How cool is that?!?! They're coming over tonight for drinks. I found a mini job as tutor for a 13 year old kid in english and french, and it's pretty well payed, and he's so bad he needs 6 hours a week ( that's more than what he actually gets in school). But hey, I'm not complaining! I also signed up for a hip hop class at the university's sport center, which feels soooo great to finally be moving and dancing again ( I used to do hip hop once a week in montreal and I was REALLY missing it!) I also made a friend there, a girl from Leipzig. It's really great here, I'm finding out I make friends so easily, and also that my german is actually quite good! Everything is going so fast, I'm absolutely exhausted of all the new experiences, the new classes at university, the new friends, FINALLY starting to really party again, but I am absolutely happy. And the Queen of the world. HA!

YAY ME!

Nightmare

I've been having this recurring nightmare for about 1 year/1 year and a half. It's not always the same, the setting changes, the circumstances change, the people change... but one thing stays. It's always some sort of tsunami. And it started way before the tsunami in Thailand. I'm always on a beach, or on the side of a lake, and there's always some kind of wall next to me: a hill, a hotel wall. a huge tree... Anyways, I'm always having fun, and then I realize something's wrong with the water.Terribly wrong. I try to run away, but everything goes so slowly. Except the wave. It's like, 50 meters high. I see the wall/ hill, and I know I'm going to violently crash into it as soon as the wave hits me. I feel absolutely horrified, and try to run away but somehow I just can't. The feeling I have when I wake up is just absolute dread. What's strange is that in my life, I was never, ever afraid of water, quite the contrary...my parents couldn't manage to get me away from the ocean when I was a kid, and my boyfriend too, now that I'm an adult... I've tried to find any movies I would have seen, books I would have read... to no avail.

I wish these water nightmares would stop, as I have them quite frequently ( at least once a month) and they always leave me drained... and terrified of the water.

International Students

Today was the first meeting at university. a presentation of the Uni, campus tour, international student activities etc... Well, turns out almost all of the international students are here with an exchange program, and a lot of them know each other from their home country. I tried many times to make conversation with other students, but they just kept to themselves and basically would answer my question ("where are you from? what subject are you studying?") and then turn away. HOW RUDE!

arghhhhhhh.

And of course I am THE ONLY canadian at this University.

I can't wait til semester starts, so I can meet german students. maybe they'll be nicer. I mean, what's wrong with me? I don't think I'm some sort of weird person they would want to avoid???

anyways, the stupid guided tour for romanistik students was shit, the student-guide knew less as I did about certain things around campus ( Ok, I am very resourceful, but come on!)

I'll pretty soon need to find a job, and honestly it's scaring me to death, probably having to work with the public... in german.

well. off to Ikea tomorrow to buy curtain holders!

What I am proud of

-waiting for 4 hours to register at the city offices of berlin
-being accepted at the university here without an exchange program: just me by myself
-passing my language test with flying colours
-making the decision to move to Germany
-being strong enough to get what I really want
-standing up for myself in front of my family and friends without damaging the relationships
-knowing I can rely on myself no matter what happens
-knowing I can achieve whatever I want, if i really put my mind to it
-being 23 years old and living in Berlin.

freakishly accurate

frankie took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test! "Seeks an affectionate relationship, offering fulfi..." Click here to read the rest of the results.

resident

Well, I am now the proud owner of a 2 page RESIDENCE PERMIT in my passport! wou-hou! I have insurance, have opened a bank account, am registered at the city offices and all that's left is my registration at the Uni, which I will complete tomorrow, as a birthday present to myself.

I just keep looking at the colourful sticker in my passport... now I can start looking for a job...

Here we go again!

BERLIN BABY!!!

We're here!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Finally my own HOME. No more living with the parents!!!! We started packing our stuff into the truck wednesday morning around 9:30 am. The truck we wanted to rent wasn't available, so they upgraded us to a 7.5 ton truck. Man is that something on the german highways! We packed up everything with the help of 5 people within 2 hours, had lunch with my bf's father and left around 12:00-12:15. You see, the last time we went to Berlin it took us about 6 hours, so we calculated 8 hours to be safe, thinking we'll be done over there max around 11:00 pm. Well. We got 3 different areas of severe traffic and many areas were under construction. We pulled up in front of our appartment building around 10:30 pm. Bf and his brother returned the truck here at the branch in Berlin around 3 or 4 am. GAWD. I never ever want to move again. I am going to live here for the rest of my life and be content with our small but comfy appartment.

It is our first appartment together. It still feels so weird seeing both our names on the doorbell and the mailbox. It's like every time I pass by, I look at it and I feel all tingly inside. It's surprising sometimes how life can just give you so much. Next friday, October the seventh, it'll be four years that we are together. I will also turn 23 years old. Starting a relationship with him was definitely the best birthday present I ever had...

Weekend at my mother in law's

We were invited this weekend over at my mother in law's with my bf's brother, and his girlfriend. It was supposed to be just a little get together before we move to Berlin, which is a good 6 hour drive from here. Oh, and at the same time on sunday my bf and his brother could help just move the big furniture out of the living room because it was being re-carpeted and re-painted on monday and tuesday. yeah right.

Weel, we got there on saturday afternoon. You have to picture it, this is a small appartment, with a kitchen, 2 small bedrooms and a living room/dining room. I expected the living/dining room to be almost empty ( you know, crystal and silver packed, furniture empty, just the basic necessities so that we can have a pleasant dinner and maybe manage to eat breakfast the next day.) Well, absolutely NOTHING had been done. My mother in law really wanted us to go play tennis (even though that we were 5) so I'm thinking, since she gets up so much earlier than all of us she'll pack up and prepare everything tomorrow morning. So we go on and play tennis, it was fun, came back home, barbecued, went to bed. Sunday morning we get up... She had one, I repeat one box packed. I am not that all familiar with my mother in law, since we've been living in Canada for the past 4 years, and quite frankly I just don't know her that well yet. She had decided that we, the girls, could pack up all her stuff for her, that it would go faster. Umm, okay, would have been nice to have been asked first, but ok. Man. SO MUCH JUNK. THe furniture was dusty and she hadn't even had a look in the stuff! I found an old kleenex in her stuff. When we asked "where should we put these boxes now?" SHE HAD NO IDEA! But wait, then my bf asked exactly where the heavy furniture pieces ( 4 pieces) should go, she hadn't thought of it!!!!!! SHe just said " well actually I have no idea, it's quite difficult with my small appartment, but I'm sure you guys will figure it out." WTF?!?!?

She THEN started to order us all around like children who still live under her roof ( my bf has never lived with his mom, he was raised by his dad). I start taking pictures off the wall, and take them to one of the bedrooms. The pictures are so dusty I can't help but sneeze. At this point, we've been working for a couple of hours and I'm starting to feel insulted that she's making me do all this for her ( she is no old lady!) and then she sees me with the painting in my hands and says " well, can't you see that it's dirty?? you can go in the kitchen and wash it" (no please)

and NO, it's not over. We get a phone call from Berlin. You see, we know 2 people in Berlin: our friend Alex and his roommate. They were going to help us move in. Guess what? One broke his foot and the other hurt his back, is on bedrest and might have to be operated! Now THAT is bad luck! It really sucks for them , and we felt really bad for them, but at the same time I started panickin. We have some pretty heavy furniture and I'm not sure I can do it alone with my bf. Bf's brother, so sweet, offers right away to come with us to Berlin on Wednesday, so that he can help us unpack. Then the mother hears it. And here we go again. She claims he said he would help her move back in the furniture on wednesday. We say, well then maybe he can move back her stuff in on thursday or friday? ( her appartment is still liveable, with access to kitchen bedroom and computer) She starts FREAKING OUT saying that it's our problem and that then we should reschedule our move to thursday (oh yeah, that's really simple: huge truck we've reserved, friends to move out the furniture from here, 6-7 hour drive, appointment in Berlin with the owner...) and that there is NO WAY That she will let the brother come with us on wednesday. MY GOD. I swear, this woman will drive me nuts. I was furious. Then she suggested we all come to her house on tuesday night and move back in her living/dinning room. I say that wouldn't work for us, we have to pack our stuff up. ( we have a complete kitchen , bedroom and living room) She answers " what? no, you don't have that much" OH REALLY? thanks for telling me, you know, maybe we rented a 5.2 ton truck for nothing! Then, I say, we also have a goodbye family dinner at my bf's dad, and since we've been living here free for 3 months now and they've planned this dinner for more than a week now, unfortunately we really have to be here for the dinner. Her answer? "Well, that's not important, you can have your little dinner later" LATER? when? over the phone from Berlin?

Well, we finally left on sunday at least 3 hours later that what we had planned on and I managed to not run away from her apartment screaming. Please tell me all not mother in laws are like this.

EXEMPTED!!

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, I got up a 9 this morning, my bags were packed, I was totally nervous about the oral examination... Decided to call the university anyways,at least to get my appointment...

I got a 3 in every part of the written exam! ( it's the highest you can get) and so I was exempted from the oral examination! wouuuuuuuu-houuuuuuuuuu!

I did it! I did the DSH and got the best results possible!

yay me!

so, I obviously did not go to Berlin, I am now packing my stuff up for the move, which is next week. we heard yesterday that our appartment is ready... yay!

Last. Step.

I'm leaving once again tmorrow for Berlin. This will be the last step of the exam. Oral examination. Tomorrow i will receive the results of the written exam. If I succeeded, either I receive an apointment for the last part either on thursday or friday. I am nervous, because it is difficult to prepare for a discussion. I hope I don't get just too nervous and my german comes out all wrong...

Oh well, I guess this is it! it seems like all I do is ask for you guys to wish me luck, but once again, please do, and think of me on thursday and friday!

yeah, I am

You Are A: Puppy!

Beloved by all, puppies are energetic, playful, and loving. Your outgoing and friendly nature is part of what makes you a puppy. Known for their loyalty, puppies make great pets for young and old alike. And an innocent puppy face can melt anyone's heart!

You were almost a: Pony or a Lamb
You are least like a: Chipmunk or a TurtleWhat Cute Animal Are You?

500

so, in 5 hits I'm going to be at 500 visitors. Funny tha not a lot of people actually leave comments...