Quarter of a Century

Today is my 25th birthday. I got the greatest birthday card sent all the way from California from John. He rocks!

I had a party with some friends yesterday and spent the day with my boyfriend today. He was supposed to be away, but it got canceled. It was a very sunny day, we even had an ice cream cone at Alexanderplatz. My parents called me to wish me happy birthday. My boyfriend's parents did too.

I'm realizing more and more the impact of my move here. Certain people and some very good friends didn't call or write today. It's not a big deal, but I just notice it. And I've been suprised by calls or cards from other people who I didn't expect to call. I guess that's how life is, you don't get what you expect and you don't expect what you get.

This whole adventure has been a very enriching one. By moving so far away from my home, I have learned a lot about myself. How strong I can be, how determined I am, how weak I can be, and that I know I can count on myself in life. I feel I've also given up a lot by moving here, and I hadn't really realised it when I left. I'll probably not have much birthday dinners at my mom's or dad's places. That makes me feel really lonely, but at the same time, since I've been gone, it feels like some of my relationships, especially to my dad, has become so much stronger. It's like the distance has improved communication. I talk to my dad three times more often than I used to in Montreal. On the other hand, I get to see him once a year, if I'm lucky.

I don't think I could imagine going back, though. I have my life here, and I'm happy with it. This whole journey has been an amazing one. I just still have the feeling I'm missing out on a lot, and at the same time I know if I had stayed there, I would feel like I was missing out on my future life here.

I think life kind of shows me where I'm supposed to be. Among other things, my dad wrote me today that he was very proud of me, to never be afraid of becoming who I want to be and to never stop listening to my inner voice. It meant the world to me. I love you, pops.