I don't look back...

with regret, that is. I always find it interesting and important to look into my past to help me to deal with the present, and assure myself I'm going forwards.

Since August, the bf and I have been having a long-distance relationship. He works in Cologne and until now came back every other week. Starting November, he will be working there full time, and coming back some weekends.

We've already had a long distance relationship (Dean, you remember that period, right?) in 2004/2005, when he was working in Virginia Beach and I was living in Montreal. Back then, we saw each other once a month. We even didn't see each other between Christmas and Easter. But somehow, our relationship survived all the challenges with which it was presented.

Fact is, I find it more difficult now, even though we actually see each other more often and talk more often on the phone... So I started thinking. Back then, i was working three nights a week and on weekends at a gym, and was also living with a very cool roommate. So my evenings and weekends were full. My social life was really great.

Conclusion? I really have to work on my social life. But...

As I started university here, my grades were very bad. I passed everything, but barely... In my own defense I must say everything was in German, and I also had to write most exams in this foreign language. Well, in the meantime, I must say that my grades are more than acceptable, and I've even scored my share of "A+"s in the past two semesters.

Other than that, finding a job here was no piece of cake... Starting out here, I taught private lessons for school kids and in this situation, you really spend a lot of time travelling from one appointment to the other. At the end of one day, I remember crying, because I had been at Uni from 8 to 2, from 2 to 5 in the west end of the city, from 6 to 9 in the south end, getting home at 10pm and having made a grand total of 30 euros for that day... I was so frustrated.. I made rent and paid my insurances, but seriously, I couldn't afford a cup of coffee in the morning. I was also very proud and didn't want to let my friends and family from home know how much I was struggling. I then got a job in a luxury real estate agency, which was great at the beginning (can you say champagne!?!) but turned sour pretty quick - the owner, my boss, had financial worries and couldn't pay me for months at a time. And finally, after applying for countless uni jobs, after a couple of interviews, I landed one of these oh so perfect jobs. Not only do I work in my field of studies ( I teach french classes) but I also get 6 weeks paid vacation a year. Now, this job doesn't cover everything, I still have to teach a bit privately, but it sure covers 66% of my expenses.

Anyways, all of this to say I've also met people, made friends, good friends, but haven't been partying all that much and that is what I am missing now that the bf is away a lot.

So I guess I don't want to be too hard on myself, I've accomplished enough in the past two years, and still have a way to go...

And yet another question: will I move to Cologne next year when this course of studies is finished? on the one side, I have to admit that it does give me a rush, moving into the "unknown"... And, well, I guess you have to have experienced it to understand it, but the feeling that "you'll be okay no matter wherever you end up by yourself" is priceless. On the other hand, I left everything behind two years ago to follow my bf, am I willing to do it again? hmmm.. I must say, I do miss my life from back then some times, but I never regret the choices I've made. I feel happy.

I'm 25 years old now, and I feel life has treated me well until now. On my birthday, my Dad wished me a much better next 25 years than the first 25... I'm so young and yet have had the chance to experience so many wonderful, difficult, awesome experiences.. If the next 25 are even better... bring it on!!