Hey John,
Hope you're safe n sound in CA - been hearing about the fire on the news here since last night. If the fire comes too close, jump in your pool to keep wet. Fire and cats hate water.
Sincerely,
Frankie
Head of the MABR
(German Division)
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Friday, October 19, 2007
I don't look back...
with regret, that is. I always find it interesting and important to look into my past to help me to deal with the present, and assure myself I'm going forwards.
Since August, the bf and I have been having a long-distance relationship. He works in Cologne and until now came back every other week. Starting November, he will be working there full time, and coming back some weekends.
We've already had a long distance relationship (Dean, you remember that period, right?) in 2004/2005, when he was working in Virginia Beach and I was living in Montreal. Back then, we saw each other once a month. We even didn't see each other between Christmas and Easter. But somehow, our relationship survived all the challenges with which it was presented.
Fact is, I find it more difficult now, even though we actually see each other more often and talk more often on the phone... So I started thinking. Back then, i was working three nights a week and on weekends at a gym, and was also living with a very cool roommate. So my evenings and weekends were full. My social life was really great.
Conclusion? I really have to work on my social life. But...
As I started university here, my grades were very bad. I passed everything, but barely... In my own defense I must say everything was in German, and I also had to write most exams in this foreign language. Well, in the meantime, I must say that my grades are more than acceptable, and I've even scored my share of "A+"s in the past two semesters.
Other than that, finding a job here was no piece of cake... Starting out here, I taught private lessons for school kids and in this situation, you really spend a lot of time travelling from one appointment to the other. At the end of one day, I remember crying, because I had been at Uni from 8 to 2, from 2 to 5 in the west end of the city, from 6 to 9 in the south end, getting home at 10pm and having made a grand total of 30 euros for that day... I was so frustrated.. I made rent and paid my insurances, but seriously, I couldn't afford a cup of coffee in the morning. I was also very proud and didn't want to let my friends and family from home know how much I was struggling. I then got a job in a luxury real estate agency, which was great at the beginning (can you say champagne!?!) but turned sour pretty quick - the owner, my boss, had financial worries and couldn't pay me for months at a time. And finally, after applying for countless uni jobs, after a couple of interviews, I landed one of these oh so perfect jobs. Not only do I work in my field of studies ( I teach french classes) but I also get 6 weeks paid vacation a year. Now, this job doesn't cover everything, I still have to teach a bit privately, but it sure covers 66% of my expenses.
Anyways, all of this to say I've also met people, made friends, good friends, but haven't been partying all that much and that is what I am missing now that the bf is away a lot.
So I guess I don't want to be too hard on myself, I've accomplished enough in the past two years, and still have a way to go...
And yet another question: will I move to Cologne next year when this course of studies is finished? on the one side, I have to admit that it does give me a rush, moving into the "unknown"... And, well, I guess you have to have experienced it to understand it, but the feeling that "you'll be okay no matter wherever you end up by yourself" is priceless. On the other hand, I left everything behind two years ago to follow my bf, am I willing to do it again? hmmm.. I must say, I do miss my life from back then some times, but I never regret the choices I've made. I feel happy.
I'm 25 years old now, and I feel life has treated me well until now. On my birthday, my Dad wished me a much better next 25 years than the first 25... I'm so young and yet have had the chance to experience so many wonderful, difficult, awesome experiences.. If the next 25 are even better... bring it on!!
Since August, the bf and I have been having a long-distance relationship. He works in Cologne and until now came back every other week. Starting November, he will be working there full time, and coming back some weekends.
We've already had a long distance relationship (Dean, you remember that period, right?) in 2004/2005, when he was working in Virginia Beach and I was living in Montreal. Back then, we saw each other once a month. We even didn't see each other between Christmas and Easter. But somehow, our relationship survived all the challenges with which it was presented.
Fact is, I find it more difficult now, even though we actually see each other more often and talk more often on the phone... So I started thinking. Back then, i was working three nights a week and on weekends at a gym, and was also living with a very cool roommate. So my evenings and weekends were full. My social life was really great.
Conclusion? I really have to work on my social life. But...
As I started university here, my grades were very bad. I passed everything, but barely... In my own defense I must say everything was in German, and I also had to write most exams in this foreign language. Well, in the meantime, I must say that my grades are more than acceptable, and I've even scored my share of "A+"s in the past two semesters.
Other than that, finding a job here was no piece of cake... Starting out here, I taught private lessons for school kids and in this situation, you really spend a lot of time travelling from one appointment to the other. At the end of one day, I remember crying, because I had been at Uni from 8 to 2, from 2 to 5 in the west end of the city, from 6 to 9 in the south end, getting home at 10pm and having made a grand total of 30 euros for that day... I was so frustrated.. I made rent and paid my insurances, but seriously, I couldn't afford a cup of coffee in the morning. I was also very proud and didn't want to let my friends and family from home know how much I was struggling. I then got a job in a luxury real estate agency, which was great at the beginning (can you say champagne!?!) but turned sour pretty quick - the owner, my boss, had financial worries and couldn't pay me for months at a time. And finally, after applying for countless uni jobs, after a couple of interviews, I landed one of these oh so perfect jobs. Not only do I work in my field of studies ( I teach french classes) but I also get 6 weeks paid vacation a year. Now, this job doesn't cover everything, I still have to teach a bit privately, but it sure covers 66% of my expenses.
Anyways, all of this to say I've also met people, made friends, good friends, but haven't been partying all that much and that is what I am missing now that the bf is away a lot.
So I guess I don't want to be too hard on myself, I've accomplished enough in the past two years, and still have a way to go...
And yet another question: will I move to Cologne next year when this course of studies is finished? on the one side, I have to admit that it does give me a rush, moving into the "unknown"... And, well, I guess you have to have experienced it to understand it, but the feeling that "you'll be okay no matter wherever you end up by yourself" is priceless. On the other hand, I left everything behind two years ago to follow my bf, am I willing to do it again? hmmm.. I must say, I do miss my life from back then some times, but I never regret the choices I've made. I feel happy.
I'm 25 years old now, and I feel life has treated me well until now. On my birthday, my Dad wished me a much better next 25 years than the first 25... I'm so young and yet have had the chance to experience so many wonderful, difficult, awesome experiences.. If the next 25 are even better... bring it on!!
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
The Wedding
Well, I was in Cologne last weekend for the wedding of my boyfriend's brother. I already call my boyfriend's family my family in law, even though we aren't married, because we've been together for 6 years, he lived for years in Canada and I've been in Germany for two years, so since it's a serious relationship, I alreday consider them family.
Weddings here ( I was at the wedding of a friend in August) are very nice. Everybody dresses formal, but a German tradition makes the stuffy part go away pretty fast: friends and family of the bride and groom are supposed to think about presentations, games and something special they can organise for the day of the wedding. For exmaple, at both weddings someone had brought preadressed post cards and we had to write on them what we wish the newly weds, and we tied the cards to balloons and all let them go at the same time. during the weeks following the wedding, the newlyweds keep getting mail from the day of their wedding, if they're lucky enough that nice people find the postcards once the balloons come back down and these people bring them to the mail.
Otherwise, there are also some family members who sing songs, or organise games. For example, one game was that the bride and groom had to go to the front of the room, and sit on chairs, looking away from each other. They each had a womans'shoe and a man's shoe. Then, they have to answer questions, like "who cooks more often" by raising either the white shoe (representing the bride) or the black shoe,or both. The game starts out mildly, but soon gets interesting ("who proposed?" "who actually decides what goes on in the relationship?") It's really funny! ANd one variation of this game is that the bride and groom have to drink each time their answers differ.
There are tons of games like these, and it really is a big part of the wedding, which means that even though it can start off traditionally (champagne, three course dinner, etc) it gets pretty funny pretty fast.
On another note, I realised how weddings kind of accentuate existing tensions in the family. For example, my mother in law (boyfriend's mom). The first year that I was in Germany, every time my boyfriend would leave Berlin on vacation or whatever, she would call me and tell me I should go on a diet, suggest stupied recipies (cabbage soup for a week, wonderful) and I was really kind of insulted. Anyways, before the wedding, I hadn't seen her since June 2006, and had lost about 15 kilos (a bit over 30 pounds). I have a hard time believing someone doesn't notice that much of a weight loss. Heck, even the bf's dad noticed it! Well, my mother in law, the one for who it was SO important that I lose weight, didn't say a word. I was there for three days.
Then, it was my birthday last week. She knew I was staying at her place a couple of days later. I really don't care about the presents, but a card? Anything scribbled on a piece of paper? Nothing. Nada. Once again, even at the dad's house, I got presents and cake. At her place? hmm
Last but not least, for the wedding my boyfriend's mom had prepared a powerpoint presentation with the bride's mom in which you could see pictures of the bride and groom throughout ther lives. At one point, there were pictures of the bride and her family on ski vacation, and her mom says: "here is our family on ski vacation" and then comes up another picture, and my mom in law says something like "and here is OUR family on ski vacation". Who is on the picture? My mother in law, my boyfriend's bro, my boyfriend and ... his EX-girlfriend. How thoughtful. I've been with him for 6 years, you would think she might have the decency to leave that pic out?
I've left everything behind to come live here because I love her son madly, have learned the language, gotten a job, am studying all in German, and apprently, it STILL isn't enough for her.
Oh well. At least I have funny stories to tell. No family is perfect.
Weddings here ( I was at the wedding of a friend in August) are very nice. Everybody dresses formal, but a German tradition makes the stuffy part go away pretty fast: friends and family of the bride and groom are supposed to think about presentations, games and something special they can organise for the day of the wedding. For exmaple, at both weddings someone had brought preadressed post cards and we had to write on them what we wish the newly weds, and we tied the cards to balloons and all let them go at the same time. during the weeks following the wedding, the newlyweds keep getting mail from the day of their wedding, if they're lucky enough that nice people find the postcards once the balloons come back down and these people bring them to the mail.
Otherwise, there are also some family members who sing songs, or organise games. For example, one game was that the bride and groom had to go to the front of the room, and sit on chairs, looking away from each other. They each had a womans'shoe and a man's shoe. Then, they have to answer questions, like "who cooks more often" by raising either the white shoe (representing the bride) or the black shoe,or both. The game starts out mildly, but soon gets interesting ("who proposed?" "who actually decides what goes on in the relationship?") It's really funny! ANd one variation of this game is that the bride and groom have to drink each time their answers differ.
There are tons of games like these, and it really is a big part of the wedding, which means that even though it can start off traditionally (champagne, three course dinner, etc) it gets pretty funny pretty fast.
On another note, I realised how weddings kind of accentuate existing tensions in the family. For example, my mother in law (boyfriend's mom). The first year that I was in Germany, every time my boyfriend would leave Berlin on vacation or whatever, she would call me and tell me I should go on a diet, suggest stupied recipies (cabbage soup for a week, wonderful) and I was really kind of insulted. Anyways, before the wedding, I hadn't seen her since June 2006, and had lost about 15 kilos (a bit over 30 pounds). I have a hard time believing someone doesn't notice that much of a weight loss. Heck, even the bf's dad noticed it! Well, my mother in law, the one for who it was SO important that I lose weight, didn't say a word. I was there for three days.
Then, it was my birthday last week. She knew I was staying at her place a couple of days later. I really don't care about the presents, but a card? Anything scribbled on a piece of paper? Nothing. Nada. Once again, even at the dad's house, I got presents and cake. At her place? hmm
Last but not least, for the wedding my boyfriend's mom had prepared a powerpoint presentation with the bride's mom in which you could see pictures of the bride and groom throughout ther lives. At one point, there were pictures of the bride and her family on ski vacation, and her mom says: "here is our family on ski vacation" and then comes up another picture, and my mom in law says something like "and here is OUR family on ski vacation". Who is on the picture? My mother in law, my boyfriend's bro, my boyfriend and ... his EX-girlfriend. How thoughtful. I've been with him for 6 years, you would think she might have the decency to leave that pic out?
I've left everything behind to come live here because I love her son madly, have learned the language, gotten a job, am studying all in German, and apprently, it STILL isn't enough for her.
Oh well. At least I have funny stories to tell. No family is perfect.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Sunday, October 07, 2007
Quarter of a Century
Today is my 25th birthday. I got the greatest birthday card sent all the way from California from John. He rocks!
I had a party with some friends yesterday and spent the day with my boyfriend today. He was supposed to be away, but it got canceled. It was a very sunny day, we even had an ice cream cone at Alexanderplatz. My parents called me to wish me happy birthday. My boyfriend's parents did too.
I'm realizing more and more the impact of my move here. Certain people and some very good friends didn't call or write today. It's not a big deal, but I just notice it. And I've been suprised by calls or cards from other people who I didn't expect to call. I guess that's how life is, you don't get what you expect and you don't expect what you get.
This whole adventure has been a very enriching one. By moving so far away from my home, I have learned a lot about myself. How strong I can be, how determined I am, how weak I can be, and that I know I can count on myself in life. I feel I've also given up a lot by moving here, and I hadn't really realised it when I left. I'll probably not have much birthday dinners at my mom's or dad's places. That makes me feel really lonely, but at the same time, since I've been gone, it feels like some of my relationships, especially to my dad, has become so much stronger. It's like the distance has improved communication. I talk to my dad three times more often than I used to in Montreal. On the other hand, I get to see him once a year, if I'm lucky.
I don't think I could imagine going back, though. I have my life here, and I'm happy with it. This whole journey has been an amazing one. I just still have the feeling I'm missing out on a lot, and at the same time I know if I had stayed there, I would feel like I was missing out on my future life here.
I think life kind of shows me where I'm supposed to be. Among other things, my dad wrote me today that he was very proud of me, to never be afraid of becoming who I want to be and to never stop listening to my inner voice. It meant the world to me. I love you, pops.
I had a party with some friends yesterday and spent the day with my boyfriend today. He was supposed to be away, but it got canceled. It was a very sunny day, we even had an ice cream cone at Alexanderplatz. My parents called me to wish me happy birthday. My boyfriend's parents did too.
I'm realizing more and more the impact of my move here. Certain people and some very good friends didn't call or write today. It's not a big deal, but I just notice it. And I've been suprised by calls or cards from other people who I didn't expect to call. I guess that's how life is, you don't get what you expect and you don't expect what you get.
This whole adventure has been a very enriching one. By moving so far away from my home, I have learned a lot about myself. How strong I can be, how determined I am, how weak I can be, and that I know I can count on myself in life. I feel I've also given up a lot by moving here, and I hadn't really realised it when I left. I'll probably not have much birthday dinners at my mom's or dad's places. That makes me feel really lonely, but at the same time, since I've been gone, it feels like some of my relationships, especially to my dad, has become so much stronger. It's like the distance has improved communication. I talk to my dad three times more often than I used to in Montreal. On the other hand, I get to see him once a year, if I'm lucky.
I don't think I could imagine going back, though. I have my life here, and I'm happy with it. This whole journey has been an amazing one. I just still have the feeling I'm missing out on a lot, and at the same time I know if I had stayed there, I would feel like I was missing out on my future life here.
I think life kind of shows me where I'm supposed to be. Among other things, my dad wrote me today that he was very proud of me, to never be afraid of becoming who I want to be and to never stop listening to my inner voice. It meant the world to me. I love you, pops.
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