News

I thought I would give you guys a bit of news about wht's going on in my life... I will be having my first exams over the next two weeks... Most of which are in German. I signed up for four of them... Other students say I'm crazy. I'll just give it my best. Up to now a lot of people have told me I was being crazy in my decisions, especially over the past 2 years, but up to know it's always proved to be the right decisions, so why not try? I think I can.

After the exams I will be visiting Cologne for the Carnaval, which promises to be a great way of celebrating the semester's end and the winter/spring vacation. Then I'm on vacation (read: no uni) for march and most of april. I will be working a lot to put some cash aside and be able to go home in september. My dad's coming to visit me 3 weeks in april. My boyfriend is going to Spain for 3 weeks and then travelling through Spain and Marocco for another 3 weeks. For those of you who will ask me if something's wrong or if i'm jealous, I'm telling you already: believe me, we have seen worse. We are THE team. Seriously.

I've decided to use this time for myself, start working out seriously again, seeing my friends and basically just taking life as it comes. I think it'll be a great opportunity for him to travel alone and rediscover himself, and for me to take better care of myself and miss him a bit. I know already when he comes back it will be just like we were fresh in love. It always is. Relationships and people need space. If you let your true love completely and honestly go and live enriching experiences, believe me, he will come running back to you.

It feels great to know that someone gets up every morning and consciously makes the choice to be with me, just the same as I do. It doesn't mean our relationship was always perfect, and we did have some rough spots but somehow our love has become so strong through them.

Not so bad for almost 5 years, huh? I wish we'll continue to evolve together and be able to be ourselves within the relationship just as we are able to now in 20 years...

Happy Valentine's Day and as a gift to the people you love, I suggest giving them space and acceptance, letting them be all they can and develop their potential. It's the best gift in my book.

speed of sound

coldplay

How long before I get in?
Before it starts, before I begin?
How long before you decide?
Before I know what it feels like?
Where To, where do I go?
If you never try, then you'll never know.
How long do I have to climb,
Up on the side of this mountain of mine?

Look up, I look up at night,
Planets are moving at the speed of light.
Climb up, up in the trees,
every chance that you get,
is a chance you seize.
How long am I gonna stand,
with my head stuck under the sand?
I'll start before I can stop,
before I see things the right way up.

All that noise, and all that sound,
All those places I got found.
And birds go flying at the speed of sound,
to show you how it all began.
Birds came flying from the underground,
if you could see it then you'd understand?

Ideas that you'll never find,
All the inventors could never design.
The buildings that you put up,
Japan and China all lit up.
The sign that I couldn't read,
or a light that I couldn't see,
some things you have to believe,
but others are puzzles, puzzling me.

All that noise, and all that sound,
All those places I got found.
And birds go flying at the speed of sound,
to show you how it all began.
Birds came flying from the underground,
if you could see it then you'd understand,
ah when you see it then you'll understand?

All those signs, I knew what they meant.
Some things you can invent.
Some get made, and some get sent,
Ooh?
Birds go flying at the speed of sound,
to show you how it all began.
Birds came flying from the underground,
if you could see it then you'd understand,
ah, when you see it then you'll understand?

Appreciating Happiness

Has it ever happened to you to just be walking in the street, sitting at home, in the subway, wherever, and just thinking:

"I am so happy"

"I feel so fulfilled"

"I know I am where am I meant to be"?

Well, to me it has been happening more and more often. Every choice I make, every opportunity I receive, every smile I discover on my own lips, not even knowing it was there... These are bits and pieces of happiness.

Life has been telling me I have been making right decisions. Through new opportunities, signs, coincidences (which actually aren't)... I appreciate it so much. I'm in love with my life right now, and never want this feeling to stop.

I'm not saying I'm satisfied and happy 24 hours a day. I'm just saying I have somehow learned to accept the moments of sadness and unsatisfaction as either chances to learn and improve or a lesson to be able to appreciate to its full extent the next moment of pure bliss.

I have made the decision to be happy in my life. Yes, it is a decision.

I have chosen myself.

and it feels great.

Under Pressure

What is pressure?

Is it the deadlines we don't meet?

The ones we accept well knowing we won't be able to meet them?

Is it the tone in the boss/spouses voice when you walk in the door?

The tone in the messages on the answering machine?

The guilt when we see the number on caller id and don't answer?


I think the only real pressure we experience is the one we put on ourselves. It's not the external factors, triggers and situations that make us react this way, it's actually our own reaction that is the key element, the source. We cannot control ourselves completely, never will be able too, never be able to control the external world.

What if the key to it would be letting everything go? To stop the continuous flow of images in our head and just experience the silence.

enjoy the silence (depeche mode)

I aspire to interior peace and hope one day I will be able to fully let go.

can you?