I want the last hour and a half of my life back!

This weekend, to celebrate my first weekend "off" in months, I rented 3 horror movies and will be reviewing them here. Tonight, I watched "Mother of Tears" , original title La Terza Madre, an Italian horror movie made in 2007. The plot goes like this: during construction work, an old unidentified coffin is accidentally dug up next to a cemetary close to a church in a little town in Italy. In it, the pastor finds bones and an urn, a talisman and three statues. He sends it to a museum in Rome, and asks an old friend, a historian of art, to analyse it. Two curious employees of the museum are however intrigued and decide to open it without him, which triggers a series of mysterious murders perpetrated my demon-like creatures and an ugly little monkey. Bear with me. In all of Italy, people become more violent and the crime rate goes drastically up. One of the two museum employees who survived and her boyfriend decide to try to get behind all of it. Witches from around the world arrive in Italy and hunt them down. They find out that the urn and talisman belonged to one of three witches who used to rule the world in the 1800s (?!) and that the parents of the employee, who she never met, were white witches who died trying to combat evil forces associated to a sister of this witch in Freiburg, Germany. And the employee hears the voice of her dead mother while fighting demons and japanese witches.

As if the plot wasn't lame enough, the acting is horrible (fake italian accent: "you meen dis ouse is fool of ghost?"), the "special effects" are at the most a nice try (spontaneous combustions, blood pooring out of all bodily orifices etc.) and the music is the classical horror movie spoof. It's almost comical.

Conclusion: Illuminati meets Army of Darkness meets Witchcraft. D minus. Save your money!

The other two movies I will be reviewing this weekend are THE protoype of slasher movies, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (remake of 2003) and the vampire thriller Salem's Lot.

stay tuned!